Posey:Of course you’re NOT the only guy I’ve swiped on tonight. Please. Pfft, as if. I did just match withsomeone else, but I only just downloaded the app tonight.
Duke:You can’t just boost my ego by saying I’m the only one? Rude.
Posey:Oh come on, we both know you’re lying in bed on the other side of the wall swiping like a little maniac.
Duke:Yeah, I’m pretty bored.
Posey:Yes, I know, it’s soooo boring here.
Duke:You lock me in my room and feed me scraps.
Posey:We have about four hundred dollars’ worth of food jammed into my tiny fridge. I do NOT feed you scraps just because I refuse to be your personal chef while you’re here. You’re a grown-ass adult.
Duke:Excuse me while I update my profile and put “must be a good cook” and “must have painted toenails.”
Posey:You already have a cook; you don’t need another one.
Duke:Yeah, but he ain’t here. I gotta make do!
Posey:You don’t actually want to meet anyone and go on dates, do you? I might have to tell Eli you’re leaving the house to go on dates before the media finds you…
Duke:I already told you, I’m bored—and you can’t rat me out to him. That’s part of our deal.
Posey:We don’t have a deal—you refuse to negotiate any roommate terms, so…you’re on your own, buster.
Duke:I can’t twiddle my thumbs for two weeks. I’ll lose my mind!
Posey:You’ve been here TWO DAYS. Calm down, you’re SO dramatic.
Duke:Who’s the other dude you swiped on?
Posey:Oh, here you go, changing the subject again.
Duke:I was bored with the subject of being bored.
Posey:LOL
Duke:So who’s the other dude you swiped on?
Posey:Some guy, it doesn’t matter.
Duke:Has he sent you a message yet? Have you started talking?
Posey:No, not yet.
Duke:You gonna send him one first?
Posey:Maybe—we’ll see.
Posey:You’re so nosy.
Duke:Why don’t you send HIM the first message?
Posey:I don’t know. I just haven’t…
Duke:You women need to learn to be more aggressive.
Posey:I’m PLENTY aggressive, thankyouverymuch.