When he can’t find it, his head shoots out, too.
“I thought you’d be in there forever,” I muse casually from my spot on the toilet seat, glancing up at him but then glancing away so I don’t see anything I don’t want to see.
Dick, mostly.
“JESUS H CHRIST,” he bellows, almost slipping, grabbing the shower curtain in the process for dear life and holding it in front of himself to cover his body. “JESUS.CHRIST.”
He repeats it again as if I hadn’t heard him the first time.
“Jesus.”
A dead man could have heard him the first time…
“GODDAMMIT,” he adds for good measure, more theatrical by far than I’d been when he’d scared the crap out of me.
I rise, inspecting my nails. “You really should lock the door downstairs when you’re up here—anyone could sneak in on you.”
He’s huffing and puffing real good, reaching for the white towel hanging on the nearby rack. It disappears behind the shower curtain with him.
“Why would you do that?” comes his sullen question. It sounds like he’s pouting.
“Payback is a bitch.”
“I thought you were nice,” he calls out after me. “Aren’t you a kindergarten teacher?”
Yeah. Which means I have to think on my feet at all times and always have my eyes on everything—duh.
Everyone assumes I’m sweet, but the truth is, there’s a lot going on in my head that says otherwise.
Ignoring the muttering and the door slamming closed behind me, I go to my office and plop down in my desk chair, powering up my laptop. It’s Friday, so I have nothing to prepare for tomorrow, but there was a pair of shoes in an online shopping cart I wanted to look at one more time before pulling the trigger on them.
Still undecided, I take a screenshot and send them to Molly for her opinion.
Me:Should I get these, yes or no?
Molly:How much are they?
Me:40.
Molly:40? This seems like a no-brainer.
Molly:Wait. Where will you wear those? They’re light pink, and it’s almost fall.
Me:True, but they’re so cute!
Molly:Wait. Why are we talking about shoes when you still haven’t told me how it’s going with Duke?
Me:Let’s just say…about five minutes ago, I gave him a small heart attack when he was taking a shower.
Molly:What does that mean???
Me:He was in the shower when I got home, so I went in the bathroom and waited so I could scare the crap out of him—and it worked. He said JESUS CHRIST three times.
Molly:POSEY KETTNER, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT??? He’s an NFL football player. He could have tackled you.
Me:Doubtful. He was butt ass naked.
Me:Also, did I NOT MENTION that when he got here yesterday, he climbed in THROUGH A WINDOW because the door was locked and he couldn’t find the doorbell???