Okay—so they do know we had sex.
Right.
Okay then.
I ignore her barbs and press on. “Yes, I came all this way because I wanted to talk to you in person.”
Posey’s head dips a bit; I can’t tell if she’s nodding or not nodding. With this dim light, it’s hard to tell. Plus, she’s sitting, and I’m standing, and at this angle, it’s impossible to get a read on the situation.
But she hasn’t told me to get the fuck out of here, which I take as a good sign.
I’m aware of the tables around us; aware of the whispers as patrons take notice of me. I mean, anyone with a functioning set of eyes, who watches the news, has recognized me.
At six-foot-four, I stand out like a sore thumb, especially since I’m standing here like a turd.
I’m in the server’s way when she comes to check on the women, fill their water glasses, and ask if they need more drinks.
“I’ll take a bread basket,” Kate announces. “And we’ll order appetizers, thanks.”
It’s like I’m there but not really.
It’s like they want snacks before the show begins.
“I shouldn’t have left without saying goodbye,” I blurt out. “It was a dick move, and I’m sorry.”
“Amen,” Molly mumbles.
“I got the envelope back that you had sent ’round to Eli,” I admit. “I’m sorry about that too. Another dick move.”
“Can I get a what what…” Molly chuckles under her breath.
I try to ignore their judgmental stares, but those same stares also power me forward; I use them as a litmus for my apology tour.
“I haven’t been able to sleep. My appetite is gone. I feel like somethin’ is missin’, and I know we barely know each other at all, but sometimes you just know. You know?”
Posey sort of nods her agreement. “You still have so much food in the refrigerator from the time we went grocery shopping.”
“Oh. My. God. Is this a grand gesture?” one of them whispers loud enough for me to hear. “Is that what this is?”
“Eh, if it is, it’s pretty lame. I mean, get to the good part, Jesus,” Anna remarks, sipping from her martini glass and rolling her eyes, bored.
I did this to myself, coming to a place where there’s not just an audience of five, but an audience of an entire room, some of them taking covert photographs of me.
Too late to turn back now.
I power on, challenge accepted, channeling my inner “not an asshole.”
“There’s a better time and a place to be tellin’ you this, but as you know, my timin’ is shit, and I have no chill.”
“Holy shit, is he proposing?”Kate whispers.
“He better not be.”This from Molly.
I look over at her. “I’m not proposin’—relax.”
“Proposin’,” Anna mimics my accent with a smirk on her face, soaking up every ounce of my self-imposed discomfort.
“Shhh,” Kate hisses. “I want to hear what he’s saying.”