He adjusted the temperature a bit, and then carefully added some good-smelling soaps and salts. When he was done with that, he stepped back, sliding his hands into his pockets.
My gaze dipped to his erection, and lingered.
Stars, he was huge.
I had never seen him naked before, but I found myself wanting to.
“I’m going to arrange the cleanup in your room,” he told me, his eyes lingering on my face. “Will you be alright alone for a few minutes?”
His words brought the face of that guard back to my mind, and my throat closed up.
I dipped my head in a nod even though I honestly wasn’t sure whether or not I would be okay alone.
Espen added, “I’ll stay in the hallway. No one will get to you.”
After I nodded again, the king stalked out of the room.
Something told me that someone else might die that day if anyone else decided to argue with him.
The door closed behind him, and then silence reigned in the room.
My chest ached, my body completely and utterly exhausted.
And my mind… it kept going back to the guard I had killed.
I was fighting hard to keep the awful memories at bay, to prevent myself from reliving the twisted hell I had experienced.
My arms draped over the sides of the tub, my fingers clenching around the edges as I held on like my life depended on it.
I needed a distraction.
I needed… something better.
Something different.
Something like Espen.
He was the only person or thing that had managed to fully and completely distract me from the horrors in my memory over the past two weeks. Things were nice, with him. Easy. Happy.
Maybe…
Well, maybe I could take him up on that offer to teach me pleasure. Maybe he would be okay with letting me use his body to forget my pain.
Maybe he would show me that sex could be more than the cruel horror I knew it to be.
Stars, maybe I wanted him.
Fine, there was no maybe about it.
I wanted him.
Badly.
Not just for the distraction, but for the hope, too. The hope that not everything and everyone were cruel and harsh and painful.
I washed my hair and body, waiting for the king to return. I grew warmer and warmer the longer I waited, and the more I considered the possibility of feeling Espen’s hands on my skin.
He still wasn’t back when I finished washing up, so I slipped out of the tub, draining the water as I reached for the thick white robe hanging off the wall. It was obviously Espen’s, but there were no other robes or towels around, so it was my only option.