Maybe it had been too much to ask but I’d asked for so little before, and my heart had wanted it all this time.
All or nothing.
A quick decision that was mine to make. I made it by committing to a wave every day I was out there on that sparkly water. I jumped up on that board and held my body up, trusting my balance and the water to let me ride. If I hesitated or half-assed it, I’d fall.
I was never good at school or jobs or anything really except that. My heart committed to riding the waves.
My tears mixed with the ocean water as I rode them again and again that day. I’d married one man and got two instead. Bastian was a Taurus, strong and stubborn but always dependable. He wasn’t going to let his legacy die or put his family in any type of jeopardy.
He’d submerge his love deep down in the water and suffocate it to make sure he completed whatever he set out to do.
I couldn't be with a man who did that.
I needed Sebastian Armanelli, stubborn and dominating. The man who knew what he wanted and took it.
My phone rang as I threw my board back in my pick up an hour later. I scooted into the seat, the sand still sticking to my legs as I stared at an unknown number on the screen. When you weren’t with the person you loved, your heart dropped getting those calls.
“Hello?”
“It’s Cade.”
I took a deep breath. The mob didn’t make house calls or small talk. “What’s wrong?”
The words whispered out of me, but they built momentum in my mind, my throat closing from the thought of Bastian hurt or gone. Had he done something he couldn't come back from. Had his meeting with Ronald gone too far?
“Is Bastian gone?” I croaked out, tears springing to my eyes.
“What?” Cade cackled into the phone. “Are you crying right now?”
“What?” I glanced around, suddenly aware that he might be watching me. I swiped at my eyes. “No!”
“Oh my God. You are, aren’t you? Why the fuck did you leave him then? You love him so much you’re going to cry just thinking something happened to him but you left. What’s it matter?”
“I still love him!” I said defensively and then shook my head. “He told you I left? So, he’s okay then?”
“I mean he told me you left like I didn’t see you walk out with your suitcase on the security footage,” he said like we were a bunch of idiots.
“That’s really creepy, Cade.”
“Anyway, you need to get back to your penthouse.”
“What?” I shook my head, then started to back out from my parking spot.
“You need to get back there. Or the security team can drive you or whatever. Bastian’s on a call with the president right now, I think, but it looks like he’s coming your way anyway.”
“I’m not going back to him.”
“You love him. Why not? You going to cry when he’s gone but not enjoy him when he’s there?”
“That’s not… you can mourn the death of someone, Cade. It’s different from protecting your heart. This is for the best.”
“It’s not.”
“Why? Give me a reason.” I needed a good one or maybe just any one because my resolve wasn’t the best on this.
“You know when my mom died, she’d only taught Bastian how to cook,” Cade said. “I didn’t care about learning and she’d focused on him. He was the first-born son in the family anyway. I think my dad punished him for that. He wanted every form of passion that reminded him of my mother gone from Bastian. But Bastian and my mother were close. She used to run her hands through his hair and say, ‘You got my love for the world, Bast, and Cade got all our smarts.’”
I held my breath at his words as sat in my pickup, taking in every detail he gave me about their childhood.