I wanted to ring his neck, tell him to go to hell, and kick him out. I was so sick of this charade, sick of faking something and then not being sure if I was faking anything at all.
I felt him before I heard him behind me. His hard chest pressed into my back as I scrubbed away.
“Mo, can we just back up?”
I scoffed and grabbed another dish without looking at him. “Back up to what? Should we start over and just be friends and forget that we fucked too?”
It was official, we were bound by marriage and we needed to unbind.
“What’s got you so worked up, huh?” he whispered into my neck and I shivered, instantly aware of how close his whole body, specifically the dick I knew was of life-altering size, was to me.
“I’m not worked up.” It came out defensive and breathless. I couldn’t stop myself from pushing him again and again. I knew just how to get a rise out of him and now that was what I wanted. “I just want to get this plan out of the way. I hate them and you know it. So, I think we just both go out a few nights here and there throughout the month. The media can take some shots of us with other people. We’ll drop something to the news about us being separated. If you or I enjoy our dates, we can just call each other to say we’re staying–”
He cut me off. “You come home every night.”
“I’m sorry. That kind of defeats the purpose of moving on, Bastian. You want me to have a clear mind going into this whole selling shares thing right? Then I probably need to move on to other guys.” I turned to him and wiped my damp hands on a dishtowel.
“You can get off and come home, Mo.” His turned red. “Are you a cuddle after you fuck type of girl?”
“So what if I am?” I put my hands on my hips.
“Then I’ll fucking cuddle you.” His palm slammed down on the counter. “You’re not staying over at some guy’s house I don’t know when you’re my wife.”
“So, I can sleep with someone else but I can’t stay the night?” I crossed my arms as this got more and more ridiculous. “That makes no sense, Bastian.”
“I’m not risking your safety. You’ll have security on you too.”
“Oh, no. I’m not doing that. You can’t have Dante or someone follow me around. That will be weird for my date.”
“Who is this date, by the way? You’ve got someone in mind already, I can tell.”
“Oh, my God. Let’s just go to bed.”
He chuckled and then scrubbed a hand over his face. “My bed or yours?”
“What?” I practically screeched.
His chuckle turned to a full on laugh.
The corners of his eyes wrinkled, and the dimples I forgot he had popped out. Bastian was always a good-looking man. He was handsome and unapproachable at the same time. Like a far off diamond in a museum that you knew was worth billions and you admired from afar. But when he laughed in front of me like this, he felt attainable. Heart-crushingly attainable.
“I think you’re going crazy.” I shook my head at him.
He wiped at his eyes and sobered before walking right up to me. He studied me for what felt like ten minutes. His eyes darted all over my face like he was memorizing it or cataloging each tiny detail of it.
My heart beat louder in those moments than it ever had. All thought left my brain. I couldn’t say one word, couldn’t provoke him or console him or try to reason with him. Heat rose over my chest and on my cheeks. My stomach and core tightened.
His next words rumbled out, soft: “Turn around, Morina.”
He hummed low when I did and his hands went to my shoulders. He rubbed at my knotted muscles but the tension in them just increased. I wanted to scream at him to move away from me but I was frozen. I didn’t know where we were going but I knew that if he left again after this, I wouldn’t be able to come back from it. We were teetering on the edge of no return if he indulged with me again.
He didn’t get it. To him, I was a little girl that he was protecting, but to me, he was a damn god that I wanted one more chance to fuck.
He pushed at a tender spot and I moaned. “Jesus.”
He chuckled. “You’re tense.”
“No shit.” He rolled a finger over the same spot and the dish in my hand clattered into the sink. I gripped the edge of the counter. “I’m just… I need…”