Yet, now, I wanted to stay and I wanted to tell him that too. My heart had fallen, and I’d tried to jump in after it and pull it back up to the land of sanity but it kept falling down, down, down, into the dark abyss that was Sebastian Armanelli.
I wanted to submerge myself down there forever and find every piece of hidden treasure. I knew it meant I’d have to do the hard thing first.
I’d have to walk the plank of telling him I didn’t want a divorce and hope to God he felt the same. Fear pulled at my self-confidence though enough that I wasn’t sure what would be worse, missing out on someone I loved or finding out they didn’t love me back.
We had two months. Two months of planning our separation if I didn’t tell him and two months until the final board meeting where I could potentially announce he was buying the shares. We hadn’t discussed the plan and yet now was probably the best time to do so.
I just had to figure out what the plan was.
I, the girl who hated plans in the first place, had to decide a multimillion dollar company’s future and what my broken heart would look like: one of rejection or one of regret.
Turning on the salt lamp and lighting incense to burn while I wallowed and waited seemed like the only thing I could do.
At 10PM, I wondered if Bastian was ever coming home. He never left me overnight without telling me.
I fell asleep on the couch.
The next morning, I woke up in my bed with the blankets tucked in around me.
Bastian Armanelli,sweet and accommodating. I threw the covers off, wishing I’d got Sebastian instead and he’d taken advantage of me.
I stomped out of the bedroom in my worn night shirt and found crepes again.
No Bastian.
This went on for two more days.
I passed the time doing my own thing. I made new shakes and even called Bradley just to talk. He didn’t answer but I still chattered into his voicemail.
Finally, as the sun went down on the third night, I gave in.
Morina:Are you coming home?
He answered immediately.
Bastian:Why wouldn’t I be?
Morina:It’s just later than you normally get here. I haven’t seen you in days.
Bastian:Do you normally time me coming in and out of the house?
I rolled my eyes at his playfulness, a weight lifting that I didn’t know was there.
Morina:Shut up. When do you plan to be here?
Bastian:We’re stuck in traffic for about another thirty minutes.
Morina:I’ll try to stay up. No promises though.
Bastian:Maybe I’ll wake you then.
Morina:Doubt it. I get carried back to my bed, gentle as can be so I’m not disturbed even when I want to be.
Bastian:Ragazza, tempting a man like me won’t end well.
Morina:Like I’ll be punished or…
Bastian:For that statement alone, yes. I’ll redden that ass just to hear you beg for forgiveness. First, we have a conversation though.