Here we were, remembering what we wanted.
What we deserved.
What we were.
Together.
I met her thrust for thrust and our stares stayed glued on one another. “You’ll do it. You know how I know?”
“How?”
I dragged my hand along her ribcage where she had my words written. “Because if you don’t, you’ll die. I will too. My blood is still your blood, Katalina.”
I pushed into her again and her eyes changed. From prey to predator, I saw Katie transform to Katalina, to Cleo, to the woman I knew she was. A tear streamed down her face in recognition.
The weight of the city had just borne down upon us.
13
Kate
Ichecked my window shades to make sure none of the bratva would see us. I checked my last text to the security team that I was going to bed.
No updates.
So, I let him stay in my bed.
I should have asked him to go, but something changed when I looked at myself in that mirror, when I looked at him and saw something like love in his eyes. Rome pushed me to be something I knew I could be but was scared to be. I’d walked a thin rope for the last few weeks, trying to listen to everything Ivan explained, trying to implement where I could with the bratva, and trying to remain calm when their eyes were on me, shooting daggers my way.
Those men didn’t trust me. They didn’t trust anyone really. I expected that, and I expected the hate too. A woman whom they felt was an Italian whore had just come to rule their empire.
I could have rolled my eyes at the notion, though, at calling what the bratva had an empire. The men had been disorganized, acting on emotion, and killing on a whim.
Just the night before I had to call off a murder based on a food choice. One of the leaders wanted another dead because he hadn’t remembered how much the man didn’t like shellfish. It was blatant disrespect and that would cost him his life.
I’d shot it down and been met with fury. Ivan had to quiet the room and I had to live with the threatening stares.
It wasn’t what I feared when I went to sleep. My life had always been in some kind of danger and it always would be. I was accustomed to that fear.
Now, though, I had the weight of this city on me. And I wasn’t sure I was good enough to take that on.
I could let so many down even if they never knew I was going to bat for them in the first place.
And that was the expectation. I could see it in Ivan’s eyes, even. He thought that in the end I would fail, that I wouldn’t be able to change or lead the bratva. No one really believed in me and most days I barely believed in myself. I just went through the motions.
Except when Rome stood behind me, except when he made me stare into my own eyes and see my power. I let the man kneel before me. He was a monster, a ruthless killer, a demon to most who encountered him and still he saw the best in me.
He was the only one who kept me safe from the doubts that flew around in my head at night.
So I let him stay.
He lay down next to me, but I didn’t cuddle up to him. We’d only done that in the panic room and we were in a different place now.
He let out a sigh and then pulled me up against his chest. “We’re not going backwards, Kate-Bait. If we’re in the same bed, every part of your body is going to be up against mine.”
“It’s amazing that you’re the killer in the family and yet you want to cuddle.”
“Got to know if I have to do some killing tonight. I’ll make sure to kill another nightmare if you have one.”