chapter SEVENTEEN
Jay: I’ve never been ready for a relationship. And now that I’m considering one, I wonder if that’s a sign that I am.
Therapist: Is she filling a hole for something else?
Jay: Yes, but she’s not a drug I plan to quit if I start.
Therapist: Then, be sure before you do.
Jay
That one word. I saw how it broke her to admit it.
Even if they weren’t meant to be, even if the guy was a complete asshole who’d hurt her more in the last couple of months than any other individual she’d ever met, I knew how hard it was for my little pebble to admit to what she thought was a failure. She needed to see it would be one of her greatest accomplishments, instead.
I didn’t hesitate any longer. I took her mouth in mine. I should have waited—she needed time to heal—but I realized I’d been waiting since the day I’d met her.
Three years was a long-ass time to wait.
She tasted even better than she had the first time I’d kissed her. This time, she tasted free and right and like the sweet ChapStick she always rubbed on her lips.
We explored each other’s mouths and she gripped my bare shoulders like she was holding on for dear life. I did the same with her waist.
I knew it was life and death for me now. Mikka was my new addiction. One I wasn’t going to get over or give up.
I pulled her shirt from her body. That porcelain skin was my perfection now. I ran my lips along every inch I hadn’t touched before. I worked off her pants and panties before she even considered stopping.
Our stars had finally aligned; the string that tethered us had finally untangled. “Yue Lao did tie you to me,” I murmured into her ear as I carried her to the bed.
She shook her head but brought my lips to hers again. Nothing outside of the room mattered anymore. We tasted each other and explored every sensitive spot between us.
I dragged my hand over her stomach and ran my thumb over her clit. She moaned, as if she’d been waiting for me to do that for as long as I’d wanted to.
“I’m going to have to do this with you every night,” I murmured into her neck. She gasped as I slid two fingers into her. “Are you on birth control?”
She rode my fingers and nodded. I curled them inside her and she arched under me. Her long, silken hair was spread over the pillow as she screamed and threw her head back.
The iron headboard banged against the wall and I smiled down at her, watching her orgasm take over.
My control snapped as I felt her core tighten around my fingers. I slid them out, told to her that I was clean, and slid into her in one swift motion.
Our eyes met. Our worlds collided.
If it was an old man on the moon who’d put us together, he’d done it right. The feeling of being in her, having her around me, and being one with her almost did me in with one thrust. My heartbeat was as wild as my need for her.
We moved together, taking each other to a place where no one else would ever go but us. It was our small world in that room and we were on lockdown away from all our problems.
I reached a high I didn’t think existed as I came and she screamed my name.
Afterwards, I wrapped us up in the blanket and we lay there in silence as I held her to me.
When my phone vibrated, Mikka jumped and shot up, a sheet still wrapped around her chest.
I smiled at the look of fear in her eyes, like she was a deer caught in the headlights.
“We’re friends, Jay. This was… oh, Lord. A friends-with-benefits misstep? Neither of us are ready for anything new.”
I turned my mouth down and shrugged a little. “Sure. Nothing new, but you’re not new to me, Pebble.”