chapter SIXTEEN
Lesson of the Day:
Be honest with your feelings and they will be honest with you too.
Mikka
The next night, I threw on a pink blouse that cut low in front and squeezed into some dark jeans for dinner. I finger combed my hair in the mirror, wondering if everyone would be able to see my failed relationship on my face.
I didn’t hide losing well. I remember crying in my bedroom for days when I found out Sarah Bell had gotten a better grade than me on a test in 8th grade. My mother didn’t comfort me; she told me that if I couldn’t be the best in school, I should find something else to be good at. So, I doubled down to prove to her I could do it. I passed up opportunities at friendships, underage drinking parties, and maybe even a boyfriend or two in order to stay at the very top of my class.
My relationship had been somewhat the same. She’d told me I should find the best in a partner and that Dougie wasn’t it. So, I doubled down on him. I pushed us so hard, we broke. At first, I only saw myself as the one to blame. But Jay kept saying there were two in a relationship and Dougie had become the slacker in ours.
Still, admitting we’d lost was something I didn’t know how to do. I just didn’t know how well I would be able to hide the feeling of having failed either.
I made my way downstairs and heard not just Jay but another man’s voice. When I turned the corner into the dining room, I looked toward the kitchen but couldn’t see past Lorraine busying herself at the table.
“Grab these napkins and set them next to the plates, please,” she said.
I counted four place settings. “Who’s joining us for dinner?”
“Well, I’m trying to do us all a favor.” She set down the last glass and poured large amounts of red wine into each.
“What kind of favor?” My voice held skepticism. Lorraine had done a lot of little things lately to push Jay and me together. Two nights before, she’d made a candlelit dinner and thrown rose petals on my bed. Jay and I had laughed, but I’d felt a tension between us building. I didn’t want awkwardness in our friendship and knew we’d crossed too many lines for it to disappear overnight. Still, Lorraine’s blatant attempts at matchmaking were worsening things.
“You’ve been quiet in your room for most of the day. Moping around with your tail between your legs.” She walked over and smoothed down a piece of my hair as she studied my face. “You’re not healing, missy. And so we have to do something about that.”
“For an 80-plus-year-old, you seem to be very perceptive,” I countered.
“You bet I am.” She gave my cheek a good pat before she turned to busy herself again. “Brady lives in town. He’s the hottest guy I know your age, I promise. You helped me and so I’m helping you.”
“Helping me with what?”
“Helping you get laid. Get an orgasm. Something to loosen the tension in your shoulders, girlie. It’s making me uncomfortable.” She leaned over the table to whisper to me, “He gets around. He’ll go for you. I promise. I’m sorry that Jay’s being so uptight. I thought the roses would work, I swear.”
She mumbled her last sentence as she walked back into the kitchen, leaving me with my mouth agape.
Jay and Brady walked out of the kitchen laughing before I could recover.
Brady stood as tall as Jay and had a chest as wide as his friend too. Their laughs rolled through the room, rich and warm, like hot chocolate for the cold soul. I grasped the back of a wooden chair to keep from falling over as my knees buckled at all the testosterone floating around.
Brady’s hair was much lighter than Jay’s and curled a bit more too. His blond locks were full, ready to be mussed, and they framed his face well. The man gave Jay a run for his money. I had to give Lorraine that.
When I glanced her way, she winked so dramatically the whole room probably caught the old bat’s antics.
“Do I want to know?” Jay asked.
I shook my head and grabbed a glass of wine. I handled it slowly because Lorraine had filled it to the brim.
Brady eyed it. “She use two or three bottles to fill all these?”
I held back a smile and shrugged. “I’m Mikka. Nice to meet you.”
“Ah, yes. You’re the beautiful Asian woman everyone keeps talking about.”
I lifted a brow. “That how they describe people here?”
It was a good jolt of reality, letting me know I didn’t belong in this town.