“Because you didn’t actually ever ask for advice, Jay.”
“I’ll genuinely ask if I can have you talk to me like that. I want more details, though, and say it slowly, seductively,” he said and then winked at me.
I rolled my eyes at his antics.
Lorraine’s eyes sparkled and crinkled at the corners as she said, “You want more because you got a pretty lady talking sex. But she’s your friend, not your lover.” Lorraine patted him on the back and gave him a look I couldn’t quite put my finger on. “Anyway, Mikka, I’ve decided I’m never letting you leave. You are now my best friend and sexual advisor. I need to get dinner on the stove for us. Do me a favor, both of you, and look to see if any peter rabbits have been munching on my garden, will you?”
“Like Mikka’s going to look for rodents here, Lorraine.”
“Mikka should be looking for those varmints. She needs to learn what it means to be in a small town. Don’t you want to be cut out for the town, Mikka?”
I wasn’t sure how to respond to Lorraine. She’d cloaked her assessment of me in a dare and I wanted to prove to her I could do anything but looking for small animals that could bite me sounded insane. I was a city girl through and through. I would call pest control or something.
“Oh, forget it. Jay, get the rabbits out of my garden if they’re in there.” She slammed her screen door.
Jay left the groceries on the porch and walked around the side of the house where Lorraine had planted lettuce and tomatoes. He grumbled, “So much for this being a nice, relaxing bed and breakfast.”
My heart started beating a little faster as I rounded the corner too. I’d never encountered a bunny in the wild. I tried to be brave, though. “So, one time our porn shop had a snake in it.”
“Really?” Jay sounded interested as he walked through a row of small tomato vines. “You kill it?”
“Well, no. I called pest control.”
He scratched the scruff of his face to hide what I am sure was a condescending smile.
“It was huge. And poisonous.”
“Well, then, a bunny won’t be too much for you to handle. Not that we should be working at all.”
“Honestly, I’m surprised I’m actually having a good time at Lorraine’s Little Lodge,” I admitted as I followed him.
He nodded as he touched a plant that looked like it had been chewed through. “Hard not to love her and her crazy ways even if we are sifting through plants to find rodents.”
“Are there really bunnies that come to—” I gasped and grabbed Jay’s arm, pointing. Right in front of us was the smallest, cutest, furriest brown bunny with tiny ears that were tilting towards us.
“There’s Peter Rabbit,” Jay murmured.
The bunny stared at us.
We stared at it.
I could do this. It was the least I could do to prove myself to Jay, to Lorraine too.
I took a deep, steadying breath and did what any sane person would do if their garden was under attack. I launched toward the creature, arms wide, fully confident that I could outrun the little thing.
It darted like a lightning bolt, faster than a cheetah, I swear. It moved just out of my reach as I landed in a pile of wet soil.
The rabbit scurried toward Jay, too frightened to realize there was another opponent to outmaneuver.
“Jay! Get him!” I scrambled up, full of mud, but completely rejuvenated when I saw we could have him if Jay just dove in like I did.
“Get him?” He lifted his eyebrows and tilted his head.
I zig zagged as I saw the bunny, now darting back and forth after spotting Jay. “Yes!” I ran toward him again. I pointed toward Jay’s feet. The rabbit was running straight toward him, obviously scared beyond comprehending that it was heading straight into danger. “We got him, now!”
I launched myself toward the bunny but ran into the legs of my infuriating friend. In all the commotion, Jay had decided not to move, not to make any attempt to catch Mr. Peter Rabbit, and the bunny proved to be much smarter than I expected. It took out its two opponents in one sprint as we both toppled over from my momentum.
Doubly dirty and empty handed, my competitive spirit a little hurt, my temper ignited. “What the hell, Jay?”