“Hi, Mom.”
“Jay, Lorraine called and said that your friend Mikka is the ray of sunshine her plants needed this fall.”
“I told you: she’s a good PA and an even better friend.”
“Brey said she met her too. And Ray said she’s stunning.” My mom wasn’t going to stop.
“Mom, I realize the whole town is probably talking about the one person who isn’t from here. They’re all going to have something to say about her.”
“Well, you know I don’t like secondhand chatter. I expect to meet her soon.”
“It’s not worth you coming to town.”
I shut my eyes as the line went silent. She was navigating uncharted waters with me. My mother and I had always been close. I would take the name of “mama’s boy” any day for that woman. She’d stood tall during rough times with my father, given her three growing boys unconditional love as we ran around eating her out of house and home.
She’d given me everything growing up, and I was rewarding her by fucking up. I needed time to make it right, not have her abandon her getaway where she was finally rekindling a romance with my father.
I didn’t want to be her burden; I wanted to be the son that made her proud.
And if she came now, the town would bombard her with questions, push her to come to my rescue when it wasn’t her fight. I needed to face them, not her.
She cleared whatever emotions she was experiencing from her throat before replying. “I won’t come if that’s what you need from me.”
“Just for a while, Ma. I need space for a while. It’ll be easier this way.”
“You’re crazy if you think that town’s easy,” she grumbled.
A laugh burst from me. “It’s what I need, though.”
“You know best.” It wasn’t condescending—she really meant it, and her words made me wonder how I ever ended up where I was.
I’d been given everything, and she’d never weighed down my road to success.
“I love you, Mom. Stay beautiful.”
“I’ll try. It’s really not easy.” Her laugh lifted my spirits. “Love you. Call me if you need me.”
We hung up, and I took a moment to reflect before I went down to breakfast. I’d call my therapist later that evening and tell her this was part of the breakthrough every addict needed, a reminder of where they came from and why the drugs weren’t worth the destruction of what they’d built for themselves, what their families and friends had helped to build with them.
I was lucky to see my treasure.
And I hoped the feeling of being grateful would become my new addiction.