“You only have a few scenes left, right?” she asked as she walked back to her room to get the white plastic bag that held the urine cup. The whole process was degrading, a way to put me in my place, and definitely a way to make sure I was serious about promoting this movie the right way. “And you promised to behave through promotion. I’m just frustrated for you.”
I leaned against her doorway as she ripped open the package and handed me the cup. “Babe, you might not see it yet, but I’ve acted the scenes, I’ve delved into the lead. This movie is it. It’s going to propel society into wanting more equal rights. It’s going to win awards. It’s brilliant. The director knows my mishaps and controversies can’t taint that. He’s covering his ass and I get it. I agree. This movie needs to shine purely on its own.”
Her eyes started to glisten at my words.
“Are you okay? Your ribs hurting?” I hesitated, still worried.
“I’m just really proud of you. You’ve taken shit parts, Jay.” She laughed despite the tears in her eyes. “I knew it when I saw the script too. And I just want this month to work, you know?”
I stepped into the room, a small smile forming on my face at her downtrodden look. “Mikka, if it takes me pissing in a cup in front of you a few times, I think we can get through it.”
I started to unbutton my worn jeans as I walked closer to her. Her dark almond eyes widened to saucers. “What? You can’t… that’s not… Oh, my God! Close the door!”
She slapped her hands over her eyes and swerved around me to rush over to the door and slam it shut. While she did it, I followed through on my word and whipped my dick out to piss in the cup.
“Jay!” she screamed from behind me. “What the hell! That isn’t what they asked you to do. When they said you needed to be watched, I’m pretty sure they meant your bathroom door, you idiot!”
“Nah.” I screwed the cup’s cap on and placed it on the table to zip back up. When I faced her, she was still covering her eyes. “I’m done, woman. Don’t act like you haven’t seen a million dicks after working in a porn shop.”
“Replicas of dicks and real dicks are two completely different beasts.”
“Are they?” I countered. “Tell me, which do you like more?”
“You’re really asking me questions like this with your pee in a cup on the table?”
I smiled. “I’m not ashamed, baby. Nothing to be ashamed of, according to my therapist.”
“I don’t think your therapist knows we’re talking about porn while drug testing you.”
“I was just talking about vibrators and dildos. If you want to go down the porn road, we can. What kink are you into?” I shrugged.
Her face heated, and her reddened cheeks made my dick twitch in a way it shouldn’t have. The porn talk wasn’t helping matters.
What always surprised me about her was that she never backed down from the challenge. She lowered her chin and looked up at me like she’d been tested this way before. “I don’t do porn, Jay. A little BDSM is fun to watch, sure, but let me be honest: a man that can deliver head-banging, screaming good sex and knows that some acting for a video never lives up to the real thing is so much better than porn.”
Fuck me. I want her.
With that, she sauntered up to me, grabbed my piss off the table, and studied the cup. “All clear. Not that I had any doubts.”
“You sure?” I asked, arms crossed.
She flashed the test lines on the cup at me. “Control strips here indicate that all is working and the T below it is testing your levels of all these drugs. Not one showed up. So, yes, I’m sure. And, yes, I’m sure I didn’t have doubts.”
“You had them,” I shot back. “You tried to follow me out yesterday.” I had seen how much it pained her when I told her to stay behind, like she didn’t trust me, like she wanted me on a leash.
I tried to understand. Enough bad choices with drugs and the ones you loved, that trusted you, that had provided you support in the past, became the ones that had no trust in you at all, that kept you tethered rather than supported, hoping you wouldn’t fly off the handle again.
Everyone had to doubt me at this point. I doubted myself some days.
“No, actually, I didn’t doubt you. Me wanting to follow you was because I didn’t want you to stay angry with me. I cared that we weren’t getting along. I want us to be in a good place. I care about what you think of me. Probably too much. I didn’t doubt you.” She whispered the last part, but it spoke volumes to me. Mikka had seen me at my worst but kept pushing me to be my best.
A true friend did that, stuck it out with you when you were lying on the ground so miserable that no one else would be caught dead with you. Then they’d pick you up and still believe in you after all was said and done. They believed even when you didn’t believe in yourself.
“I appreciate you, Meek.”
“Do me a favor, then. Don’t pee in front of me again.”
She left me just as my phone started ringing.