“You realize I don’t belong here. I belong in the city. With my bag.”
He hummed low and dragged a finger down my arm. “You’re perfect here. With me. And without your bag. Let’s go repot some plants, huh?”
I narrowed my eyes. “Guessing I should change?”
He nodded as he eyed my clothes. The white blouse I had on cost much more than I was willing to waste rolling in mud. I went to put on some of my least favorite athleisure clothes. Unfortunately, I hadn’t packed well. I didn’t know if my ass-hugging compression leggings and my zip-up tank with a built-in sports bra were ideal.
I stepped out into the sun and shielded my eyes from the light to observe the older woman hovering over her plants with Jay. Her hands dug into the soil with care. She didn’t wince at getting it under her nails, and I glanced down at my manicure, wondering if it would withstand the beating it was about to get.
Jay smirked from where he was crouched. “Come on, princess. I promise it won’t be that bad.”
“I didn’t say it would be bad at all,” I countered as I knelt down next to Lorraine. “I’m always happy to help.”
I wasn’t. I wanted to cringe as my knee hit the dirt, and I was sure there were bugs all around us. Lorraine caught me surveying our surroundings.
“It’s a bit nipply for bugs.” She cackled at her choice of words and I found myself smiling.
“Should have worn more padding, huh?” I replied.
Her head shot up as if she was completely taken aback that I’d joined in. Then she let loose a smile that showed her molars. “No way, Mikka. If you don’t let the headlights out every now and then, the boys down the block won’t know where to find you.”
Jay groaned. “Lorraine, she’s not trying to lead men here.”
Lorraine harrumphed. “Even if you aren’t, Mikka, it’s good to know your options, and the men don’t flock to a nest where a bird doesn’t show off her feathers, if you know what I mean.”
I nodded solemnly as I moved a pot closer to her. She lifted a plant from the ground. When she set it in place, she pointed to a fertilizer bag. I grabbed it and started pouring it in. “I know what you mean.”
“She’s smarter than most of the women around here, Jay,” Lorraine announced, and I felt like I’d just won a freaking award. Why did I suddenly want to make this woman proud?
We worked for some time that way. Lorraine gave unsolicited advice as I filled pots. Jay grumbled about it all while taking the pots and carrying them indoors. I stole more than one glance at his backside, at the way he lifted each plant effortlessly, and at how the veins in his arms popped when he did.
At one point, Lorraine leaned in to whisper, “Now, don’t make it so obvious. We all know he’s a hottie, but make him work for it. He scares easier than most. Not because he’s afraid of commitment.”
I tilted my head at her in question.
She continued, “That’s what everyone says, but I know my Jay. He only holds back from committing because he doesn’t want to be the primary reason for someone’s pain. He wants to be there for the good times and to pick you up if you’re down.”
“I’m not quite sure I understand,” I said as I stared off after him.
“His momma’s heart broke for his daddy. He was there to pick her up and make her smile. Aubrey went through some things as a kid. She broke down and he picked her up too. He’s avoided ever being the cause of someone’s pain.”
“Why do you think that is?”
“He feels it like it’s his own.”
I nodded. “I think you’re right.”
“Don’t let him just feel your pain, missy. I know you got it too. I saw it the second you walked up with him. You think you belong back where you came from, but something happened there because Jay’s protective of you. So, let me give you some advice.”
She waited as I took a breath because I wasn’t sure I wanted the advice she was about to give. I nodded then, deciding that someone with this much understanding of me already deserved to give me advice more than most people.
“Don’t run back to your problem. I did that with my husband. I went back time and time again. I shouldn’t have. I used to dance and sing whenever I was away from him. He dimmed my spirit. I only got it back when he passed not so long ago. It’s the happiest I’ve ever been.”
“I’m happy you’re happy.” Her words made me want to shrink up and disappear because they hit so close to home. Was I throwing away my life, dimming my moments to shine?
“Yeah, well, I should have freed my nips long before then.”
I burst out laughing. “Maybe. But you can now.”