I remembered how smooth she felt under my touch, how soft her neck had been when I ran my hand along it. If I touched her now, would she shudder like she had back when I kissed her? Did she think about that night as much as I did?
“Of course.” I chuckled and spun my glass of water on the table. “And absolutely not.”
She smiled. “Fair and accurate answer.”
“I’m trying to be honest. Ground rules, right?” I leaned forward and moved my leg under the table so I could nudge hers. “So, ask me.”
“You agreed to come back here to get clean. I get that it’s home for you, but do you honestly think it’s the healthiest choice?”
I started to tell her I needed to push myself, I needed to get better quickly and test how well I could handle my surroundings. My hometown would push me to my limits in facing my problems. No one sugarcoated anything here.
Before I could blurt it all out, Ray’s voice boomed across the bar again. “Another Stonewood and the newest one too,” he yelled at no one in particular as he went to hug my brother and sister-in-law. “She’s my favorite of them all, folks.”
They smiled and said a few hellos to people but I saw my sister-in-law’s face. She wasn’t here to make nice with anyone. She was blazing through the crowd, glaring people down to get them out of her way.
Aubrey Stonewood, my sister-in-law, and also my childhood best friend, was barreling toward me with fury in her emerald eyes.
I waited. I even relaxed into my seat. The spitfire was about to fireball me and I needed to be ready. Mikka watched in amazement as the most beautiful couple in America—as magazines called them—stopped at our table.
“Do you want me to start or are you going to?” Brey asked, crossing her arms as she glared down at me.
“Brey, meet my friend Mikka,” I calmly said.
“I’m not here to meet your flavor of the week, Jay. I’m here because I had to hear from the Greenville grapevine that my best friend is in outpatient rehab at Lorraine’s. Now, I find out you didn’t bother to dial the number that I know for a fact is on speed dial right when you stepped foot in our hometown.”
I looked behind her to see Jax, my brother, smirking like a man on the same damn drug I had a problem with. His drug of choice was just his wife though. He loved seeing her madder than a bat out of hell.
“Jax, don’t look so amused. She’s going to find a reason to be pissed at you too,” I grumbled and sipped my water before I acknowledged her rant.
She snatched the drink from my hand. The woman wasn’t going to let me approach this with any nonchalance. She held the drink behind her for Jax to grab. He did so without even blinking. “Don’t play games. This isn’t a game. This is our friendship. I’ve cut my heart open and bled for you. How could you not call me?”
Her words finally cut in; I finally felt the impact.
Games.
I was so used to finding fun and games in everything. Had I been skipping over the serious parts of life? Putting my meaningful relationships and friendships on hold?
Brey was right. She’d poured her heart out to her friends, shared some of the darkest secrets about her past with an abusive father.
I wanted to tell her that calling her felt like pulling her down with me, that my time here would be painful enough without them around seeing me struggle through my failures. I wanted to tell her I needed to apologize for not being a better friend to her. I wanted to be the friend she was to me.