NINE
Therapist: Is there temptation back home?
Jay: There’s temptation everywhere.
Therapist: Do you think partying and drug use will be readily available?
Jay: That’s not the temptation that I’m worried about.
Jay
Mikka had finally met her match. I smiled to myself as I unpacked a few things and thought of her face when Lorraine blasted her about her work and my partying. Her hand tightened on her leather bag so hard, I was sure the leather would be worn in that spot the next day.
Welcome to Greenville, where everyone knows your name, your business, and your dirtiest secrets. She was going to lose it here and I was going to enjoy watching her unravel. The woman needed to let go. She needed a town who knew everything about her so they could help make her whole again.
Greenville was small, but it had a massive heart, one that worked wonders on someone who was broken. It was the perfect place for both of us.
Even if it would be hard as hell to have our problems flying around in the gossipy wind of the place.
At least that wind smelled of pine, autumn, and freshly cut grass.
Home.
Lorraine placed peonies on my dresser. The crazy old woman was the sweetest person I’d ever met. She knew we’d grown up with rows of peonies near our windows. She’d helped my mom plant a few.
I sighed at the idea of calling my parents. My mother was going to argue with me about staying at her house again, I just knew it.
She’d offer the space, and probably give me the run of the place if I told her I couldn’t relax around family.
She didn’t understand that my childhood home would be a crutch. I didn’t want that. It may not have been a healthy choice to search out my discomforts, and the therapist said it could even be a potential risk to my sobriety, but it was the only way for me to heal.
I needed to be in a place where people called me on my shit, where I couldn’t hide away in my own room. I’d found that out the hard way in rehab. I’d come close to getting comfortable, close to some of the other patients who wanted me to sneak out at night with them. The temptation had almost been too much, but it was just enough for me to realize I needed to surround myself with harsh truths.
Lorraine’s place allowed for that. The woman would be truthful even if it killed her.
Mikka’s head popped in again. Her dark, straight hair fell like a waterfall toward the waist. “Do you think we’re going anywhere tonight? Should I dress for company or for sleep?”
I immediately pictured the woman in next to nothing, ready to climb into bed with me. My mind was mixed up; I hadn’t been with a woman since rehab. Mikka had imprinted on me or something. I needed to erase the memory of our kiss; I needed to find a different fixation.
“I probably need to bite the bullet and show my face in town tonight.”
“Great, I’ll come with.” She replied so quickly that I knew she was babysitting, not coming for enjoyment.
“I’m fine going on my own.” The words rumbled out of me harsher than they should have.
She rounded the corner and straightened, hands on hips. “Jay, it doesn’t sound great, but what Lorraine said is true. I’m your keeper for the month. I get to come with you and monitor your every move. I’m keeping your ass in line.”
“I’m not trying to get out of line, woman.”
“Then, you won’t have a problem with me coming along.”
I sighed. “Fine. The pub is where everyone will be.”
She wrinkled her nose. “A pub, Jay? We can’t go to a pub. Surrounding yourself with partying is not the way to…”
I stood up to stalk toward her, but my steps faltered when I saw her head jerk back a little. Mikka was always the tiniest woman in a room, but I used to be able to go toe to toe with her. She never cowered, and the skittishness reminded me how very different we were now. I held up both my hands and murmured, “We should lay some ground rules.”
Her eyes narrowed at my hands and then, instead of me invading her personal space, she stalked up to invade mine. I towered over her as she craned her neck to glare right in my face. “Fine. First one: I’m not broken. Don’t treat me like I am.”