I was accustomed to my mother talking like that, so I shrugged and stepped up into the bus, not concerned with her omen at all.
Finding Jay laid out on the velvet seat, fast asleep with lines of coke on the table in front of him was the moment all omens flooded me. My gut fell down the nine circles of hell and burned there as I stared.
Jay had relapsed. He’d lost the battle and I knew without a doubt I’d contributed to the chain of events leading up to this.
Tears welled in my eyes at seeing how much we’d destroyed. I wanted answers, I wanted to shake him awake and scream at him. First, though, I needed to lock down the situation.
“Close the door, Lela,” I commanded.
She let out a low whistle and did as I said.
“Who knows he stayed here with you last night?” I asked as he stirred on the couch.
She shrugged. “Probably no one.” She peered out her window. “Actually, probably everyone. I can feel their whispers. They know.”
Unfortunately, I believed her.
Jay sat up from his slumber. His eyes adjusted, so blue and crystal clear I wondered how much cocaine he’d truly sniffed. It didn’t matter because he looked at me with so much pain and frustration, I didn’t think there was any way we could overcome the next few hours.
“Where the hell have you been? What the fuck have you been doing all night?” he rasped out.
I should have just answered him. I should have taken the high road. I pointed to the table instead. “More important question, what the hell were you doing?”
I’d lost him. His eyes turned such an icy blue, I knew right then. We’d lost each other. Our ground rules stated that we weren’t broken, but we both had been and we couldn’t be honest about it. It’d made for a fragile base, one that was definitely not strong enough to hold a wrecking ball and a larger-than-life movie star.