I nodded. “I don’t know if I believe your witchy magic, woman, but I believe that.”
She shrugged. “So, what’s it going to take to bring your mind back to the set one hundred percent?”
I sighed and fell back into the seat cushions. I rubbed my forehead, trying to find a way to say what I needed to say. Lela was only invested so far as it affected the movie, not as a friend, not as a member of my hometown, and not as someone close to Mikka. And maybe her lack of care for my relationships made it easier to open up to her.
“What if I relapsed?” I glanced at her. She knew the stakes for this movie and that I could potentially lose my role if I did.
“Will that make you give your best performance at this point?” She narrowed her eyes.
“It might.” I dragged a hand over my face. “I lost the one thing I wanted, and I’m pretty damn sure I can’t forget that unless I have a pick-me-up for these scenes.”
“Okay. Then, I’ve got just the thing.”
She lifted the rest of the crystal glasses from the tray and then slid the bottom of it out. Underneath, I saw small bags of powder, white as fresh fallen snow.
The shaking in my hands started again. My heartbeat raced, speeding up the pumping of blood through my veins.
I’d lost the one woman I’d committed to. The one addiction I wanted to indulge in most. She’d left me for greener pastures.
But my drug, this drug, never left.
It was as committed to me as I was to it.