She stared at me for a second. Then, burst out laughing. “Okay, you’re officially one of the worst liars I’ve ever seen.”
I just shrugged and wiped my now sweaty palms on my jeans.
She leaned in a little over her desk and whispered, “I think I like you. I think we’re going to be really good fucking friends. So, I’ll tell you a secret. I’ve been in foster care for a long time, seen a lot of shitty things, and I can tell when something is wrong with someone the moment I meet them.”
My eyes must have been wide as I sat there, frozen, listening to her and not knowing what to say.
Her look altered from one of the fierce stinging bee she portrayed to a more wounded, understanding animal. “Your secrets will always be safe with me.”
We stared at each other for a beat. For the first time ever, I sat next to another girl that shared the same look I did. I wanted to tell her everything right then and there. Maybe it was her brashness, the way she held herself tall as if neither of us had to be ashamed and we could be something more than the abuse that went on in our homes. I smiled at her and nodded in understanding.
For the first time ever, I wanted to tell Jay. I didn’t even listen in my next two classes because I was planning a way to tell them both.
When the lunch bell rang, Katie and I weaved our way through the halls to the cafeteria.
Taking a table with our lunches proved to be easy as we were early.
Katie’s mile-a-minute mouth was going over our last class when I looked up and saw Jax approaching. A couple girls called out to him but he’d set his eyes on me. I could feel their determination across the room, raking over my face and trying to read me the way he always did.
As he neared, Katie glanced up and then grumbled. “Oh, for fuck’s sake, doesn’t he have a girlfriend? He’s practically obsessed with you.”
“Katie!” I whisper-yelled.
Before she could answer, Jax leaned against our table and set a peach in front of me. “Peace offering, Peaches.”
I would have said thank you. I would have accepted it and we would have parted ways amicably. No lines would have been drawn. No people would have had to witness the war beginning.
Jay had other plans, as he barreled up to us and shoved Jax so hard, he stumbled into the other table.
“What the fuck, man?” Jax roared, stabilizing himself and coming back at him.
No one stepped in between them like I assumed some of their friends would. Everyone around us was fine with these beautiful guys destroying each other’s faces.
“I told you not to fuck with her.” Jay pointed to me, and it seemed everyone’s heads in the lunchroom turned my way. “You gave me your word.”
Jax glanced at me and back at Jay. His gaze hardened as he eyed his brother again. “Well, I’m sorry, Jay. Didn’t know the little pixie was so important to you. If you’d have told me you two had a thing—”
Jay shoved him hard again, but this time Jax was ready and shoved him back harder. They were both strong, too strong and too charged to be in each other’s faces.
Katie must have seen my panic as I slipped out from my seat and jumped between them because as I faced Jax to push him back, she faced Jay and pushed him back.
My hands were on his chest and I felt his heart beating so hard, I rubbed him there like I had the right to. “It’s all right. Please stop, okay?”
His hands flexed into fists and his eyes remained trained on his brother, but Katie had reined him in. She spun around to me and spoke loudly, “Brey, were going. Leave these fuckers to their own shit.”
I glanced at Jax again. His eyes were still on his brother. They held something other than anger though. His brows pulled down like he was acknowledging something, like he was worried.
The color drained from Jay’s face as he glanced from Jax and then to me with wide eyes. I lifted a hand to smooth back my hair and realized it had slid from my bun again. My short hair was loose and Jay finally noticed.
Without another word to Jax, I rushed toward Jay.
He’d always known something was amiss in my household. Everyone did. I’m sure he’d assumed but the look on his face right then said his speculations were confirmed. It was recognition, and I knew that if I didn’t tell him today and talk him down, he’d share his suspicions with someone he thought would help.
As I grabbed his arm and stormed out of the back doors of the lunchroom, Katie followed and brushed off anyone who tried to talk to us. When we sat at a secluded picnic table, I started at the beginning.
I confessed that the first time I remember my dad hitting my mom, I did nothing. Every time after, nothing. I ended my excruciatingly long confession with the shame of still not doing anything every time he hit her.
Jay asked about my hair, and I told him I deserved it and that I should have hidden it better because my mom paid a price for my negligence later on. He looked mortified, but Katie nodded her head solemnly, like she completely understood.