That deflated him a little. “You were able to disappear after that summer and do what you wanted. You got to follow your dreams.”
“Oh, fuck off. Those weren’t all my dreams. I went and made a life for myself. It wasn’t all rainbows and fluffy shit, Jay.” I ran my hands through my hair down to my neck.
He just shook his head at me. “She had to go back to school, Jax. You know what that did to her?”
“She’s fine,” I shot off loudly, surprised at how quick I retaliated.
I didn’t want to hear how much she’d suffered because I’d suffered too. I realized too late he wasn’t in the mood to be tested. His eyes widened before he reared back and threw a punch across my face.
“Fuck!” I roared as I bent over. I went straight for him, rushing my shoulder into his stomach and slamming him to the ground.
We rolled around the living room like idiots. I can admit to the stupidity, but damn I was pissed. Truth was, I couldn’t honestly remember the last time I’d been this immature since being out of my mother’s home. The only time I sparred was at a training facility to keep in shape.
Getting this physical because of emotions was a regular occurrence when we were growing up but Jay and I had been too distant for too long to engage. I hadn’t tested my brother in a long time, and I was surprised to find that I couldn’t tell who had the upper hand.
Back in high school, we’d been close enough to know exactly what buttons to push. Jett had beat me to a pulp more than once and I had done the same to Jay. He was the youngest and had never even gotten a punch in. Now, for every punch and headlock I got him in, he got me in one.
“You’re losing it,” he grumbled when I’d subdued him in a headlock he couldn’t break.
“Shut the fuck up or I’ll choke you out.”
He shoved at my arm as we both laid there, him struggling to get out of the hold and me seriously considering watching him pass out.
“You would have ducked that punch a couple years ago,” he wheezed.
I squeezed him tighter, “I let you get one good one in.” Then, I shoved him away as he gasped in air.
“You know you deserve to get your ass beat,” he managed.
“Maybe,” I sighed and we laid there, both out of breath for a minute.
“She had to face everyone and tell them why you left, why she wasn’t good enough for you to stay, why you visited the guy who burned her house to the ground and almost killed her. I had to listen to her cry at night and try to explain why you left. She might not act like it, but she’s still broken.”
I kept my eyes on the ceiling, not wanting to have this conversation anymore. “That was years ago.”
“But you’re here now, bringing up the memories from those years ago.”
“Maybe I should go back to Chicago.” For some damn reason, that made my chest hurt.
“Fuck, man. I don’t know. I don’t know what’s best.” He looked defeated.
I felt just how he looked. The next question out of my mouth I didn’t plan for. “Is she really with him?”
Jay didn’t say anything, just shook his head.
I waited him out, not willing to take the question back.
“If you stayed just to figure that out...”
“You know I stayed for my app launch and because I need a break from everything.”
“I’m not giving you details about her love life, man.”
“Supposedly, it’s your love life.” I smiled. But only a little. My neck always tightened when I saw a magazine with Aubrey looking longingly at Jay. Even if I knew it was just the perfect photo at just the right time at just the right angle.
Jay laughed. “At least for once they said she was leaving me for someone and not the other way around.”
What the media didn’t realize was that Aubrey was really leaving me behind. They never photographed Aubrey with anyone but my brother. I never worried about them, knew Aubrey and Jay were just friends. Then Rome was in the picture and suddenly I was damn close to buying the magazines just to figure it out.