CHAPTER THIRTY
AUBREY
THE CONVERSATION with Jax tipped my world onto a different axis. How could I fight him when he'd taken a different direction?
It was like the enemy brought a gun to sword fight. Then, with that gun he said, “Wait, you thought we were going to duel here? Silly girl, we’ll be fighting in quicksand where you’ll never gain your footing.”
There weren't any rules or outlines, I found myself stumbling over what to do, how to act, who to tell, and who to trust.
I acted like structure wasn't something I needed, but I found myself feeling more than a little ashamed that I wanted rules, outlines, and structure for this.
“Baby girl?” Rome’s voice broke through my thoughts.
He sat across from me at his Heathen’s Bar where we shared lunch while he took a break.
“Sorry. My mind’s on something else.”
“Yeah, and I'm telling you to talk with me about it.”
I hesitated, eating another French fry from our almost cleared plate of food.
“You slept with me for a reason.”
I squinted across the table at him with question. “What's that supposed to mean?”
“You know I won't judge you.”
“That's what you got from me sleeping with you?”
“Well, a whole lot of good ass too,” he said loud enough that the waitress who had served us heard and glared my way.
“Loud enough?”
He shrugged. “I’m not trying to hide it.”
“Well, what about me?” I whisper-yelled at him. “ And your waitress …”
“Let’s not worry about my waitress.” He steered me back. “Now, you slept with me.”
I started to cut him off.
“More than once, I might add. I didn't judge you then, won't judge you now.”
I gulped. He was right. I’d been lost, and he’d let me be lost with him in a maze of crazy pleasure and pain. We got off on knowing neither one of us was falling. Instead, we were spiraling in misery, and it felt so good not to be spiraling alone.
I closed my eyes for a second and rolled my lips between my teeth. Then, I whispered, “Do you think he could be worth it all or that maybe there's some justifiable reason he's doing all this?”
“Worth hurting your pretty face? No, baby girl.” His dark eyes held mine so fiercely, I knew there was no argument. “Justifiable? Not in my book.”
I sighed and slumped a little in my booth.
“It’s not my book you should be worried about though. You need to take a hard look to see if you have enough forgiveness in your book for him.”
I twirled a French fry between my fingers. “Maybe if I knew what I was forgiving.” Because not one other person knew what happened within those prison walls except for Frank and Jax.
“I've said it to you before, and I'll say it again. As a businessman, I have always kept my enemies close enough to know their game. That's all I got for advice, baby girl.”
“Ugh, I know!” I'd mulled over a million different reasons why he would visit my father in my head. So many times. So many different ways. Rome had been subject to said mullings for years.