“Well, he pretty much reads me right all the time.”
“No, he doesn’t!” I retorted. “You snap at him every time he says something to you.”
She sighed and slumped into the couch. “That’s the thing. I think he meets me toe-to-toe on purpose. He lets me snap at him, but never really takes the bait. I see him testing me, making sure I’m still ready to bite his head off because of what he did to you, and he likes it.”
I scrunched up my face, confused.
“It sounds stupid, I know, which is why I’ll never repeat this, but I know I’m right. He’s testing me to make sure I’m being your best friend and busting his balls still. And it kinda makes me not hate him.”
I felt my eyes widen.
She must have seen them too. “Only a little! I only don’t hate him a little!”
“What?” I practically yelled.
“I know.” She put her hands up to her face. “I still think you should boot his ass out of your life but …”
“But what?”
Her hands fell to her lap and her eyes bored into mine. “Maybe you should boot him after you give him a shot to make it right.”
I didn’t realize how much her opinion of Jax really meant until that moment. She was the last one on the seesaw with me, shifting toward not giving him another chance. My world that had been so stable, so level and smooth, shifted. I gripped the armrest of the couch as if trying to find my balance.
“You can’t be serious,” I wheezed.
Katie never looked apologetic, so when I saw that exact look in her eye, I almost screamed. “You told me this whole time he wasn’t worth anything!”
“He’s not,” she placated softly.
Katie didn’t use a soft voice or try to calm anyone. That only made the world shift under me more.
“Oh, shut up,” I blurted before my hand flew over my face as her eyes bulged. “Oh, my gosh. I didn’t mean …”
She cut me off. “Yes, you did.” Her accusation came out with a smile.
“Katie, no I didn’t. That’s so rude. You’re my best friend and I don’t ever want you to not …”
“Exactly.” She poked her finger into my shoulder. “I’m your best friend and you’re mine. You can be rude to me, Brey. God knows you aren’t rude to anyone else.”
I rolled my eyes a little. “I think the alcohol is getting to me because I sort of want to call you a few names at this point too.”
Katie sunk into the couch and started laughing. I chuckled a little. “Let’s be honest, okay? Just fuck Jax’s brains out and see what happens. Maybe it’ll work it out, maybe it won’t. Either way, you’ll get answers.”
I elbowed her. “I don’t just want to hook up with him. I need closure or answers or I don’t know.”
She wiggled her eyebrows at me. “But you do totally want to hook up with him along with all those things, right?”
“Ugh.” I put my face into my hands. “I want to screw him so bad.”
She cackled when I finally admitted it.
I let her have the laugh while I looked up at the ceiling, trying to squelch the desire I had to call him right then and find a way to be with him. I wanted his hands on me again. I wanted his lips grazing my neck. I wanted the taste of mint ... and him.
I shuddered thinking about it.
I didn’t feel centered without him and that scared me.
Katie nudged me. “Tell me what’s going on.”