I used to hate when Logan went away for work. That was before I knew what he really did for a living. Now I not only miss him, but I know his life is in danger.
I pull the cord Nova attached to me when I’d gotten on the dreadmill, stopping it instantly before I hop off.
“They’re okay.” Nova says before I can ask for the millionth time. I’m like that kid in the car that keeps asking if we’re there yet.
“You don’t know that.” With each second, I lose a bit of hope. I hate that. I want to have all the faith in the world when it comes to Logan. But it’s been over a week now. I’m not sure this is something I can spend my life doing. Worrying that every time he walks out the door I might never see him again. Right now it’s only me, but what will happen when the baby comes? I don’t think I can bear him putting his life in danger all the time.
Nova gives me a frank stare. “Trust me. Logan is the best. Getting him to take me on is the equivalent of getting into some top-notch Ivy League college.”
“Really?” That shouldn’t make me smile, but it does. I love that Nova has so much respect for him. I know that she wouldn’t if it wasn’t well earned.
“Don’t tell him I ever said that.” She points one of her perfectly-painted pink nails at me. They're perfect because I’m the one that gave her a manicure. I’ve been so worried about the guys that Nova has let me give her a makeover twice now.
“You’re not worried about Ben?” I walk over and sit beside her.
“Why would I be worried about him?”
“Cause you two are in love with each other.”
“We are not!” She jumps from the bench.
“Careful!” She’s going to hurt herself.
“I’m fine.” She walks over to another bench and starts to do some weird stretch.
“So then you don’t care that Melanie from the fourth floor asked me about him awhile back?” Nova slowly turns back around. I swallow when I see the look on her face. “I made that up. Don’t kill anyone,” I blurt out quickly. Probably not the best idea to tease a trained killer.
“It’s not like that between us.”
I raise one of my eyebrows at her, letting her know I’m not buying what she’s selling. “Could have fooled me. Then how is it between you guys?”
“We work together.” She shrugs.
“I thought you said you and I are really friends?” I follow her.
“We are.”
“Well, friends share these kinds of things.” I reach out and pull on the end of her braided hair. I did that to her too. I find myself wanting to take care of her now. Especially when she told me about her childhood.
“Not used to sharing things.” She sinks her teeth into her bottom lip. For the first time I’m seeing a not-so-confident Nova. As much as I love that she’s showing it to me, I hate that she’s so unsure about loving someone.
“I didn’t grow up like you guys, but my parents kind of sucked. I actually think Logan won my father over with money.”
“He did,” she grumbles.
“I honestly don't care. Logan didn’t have to do that. I was going to say yes to marrying him whether my father agreed or not. Seeing how my parents are with each other, I knew I didn’t want what they had. I wanted more. I chose love, and it’s the best decision I’ve ever made.”
“It’s scary.” Nova rubs her eyes. “I see how happy and different Logan is since he found you. As much as I want that for myself, I also see that if something happened to you it would kill him. I can bear a lot of things. Hell, I already have, but I don’t know if I could bear actually finding love and then losing it.”
“What if something happens to him today or tomorrow? Then what? You’ll be okay knowing you never took a chance? Or that you never told him how you feel about him?”
Nova’s eyes widen a fraction.
“If you’re already in love with him, what is there really to lose?”
“I…” She trails off.
I finally voice what I’ve been thinking ever since Logan walked out the door. “Could we all leave this behind? Would that be too much to ask?”
She looks almost perplexed. “It’s all we know.”
“Just because it’s all everyone knows doesn’t mean we can’t go in a different direction. Or want something more. But I don’t want to make anyone be something they’re not. If this is what you want from life, then I’m not going to change it.”
“Honestly, since meeting you Quinn, I’m not sure what I want in life anymore.”
“Think about it.” I step into her, wrapping my arms around her in a hug. She hugs me back. “And Nova, I love you.” I turn my head, kissing her cheek. “You’re already loved by someone.”