I’ve never had such a visceral reaction to a woman. Why the fuck is this happening now? This isn’t like me.
I have rules.
Reasons to keep women at a distance.
My work is my life, and I’ve been more than fine with that these past three years.
Having been let down by people before, I made a promise to myself that I would never let it happen again. You can’t be hurt if you keep people at a distance.
A very far distance.
Allowing people in has never been comfortable for me. I don’t like to get too close to anyone. After losing my mother and experiencing the excruciating pain that came with her loss, It was easy to be a loner. I don’t care to ever endure that level of pain again.
When I find myself getting in deep, I always pull away.
I’d started that process the day I’d proposed to Tabitha and realized what I’d done.
Add to that, I didn’t love her.
It was a relationship of convenience, and I’d allowed her to strong-arm me into taking it to the next step as a power play. Nothing else. Love would never have been a factor. It would’ve been like every other prearranged marriage throughout time, made solely to solidify two strong family lines carrying on.
A step I never wanted. Especially with her.
Only I’d been made the fool. There was no merging of two great families. She was an accomplished liar, attempting to climb the ladder of high society. A broke socialite, trying to hide the fact that her daddy’s cash was well and truly gone.
Raven is different. She’s been the one to pull away until last night. She didn’t seek me out at Silver and lock herself in a bloody cloakroom to seduce me.
A series of chance encounters brought us to this moment.
If I were a religious man, I’d think God put her in my path.
Rubbish.
Nobody put Raven Bennett in my path. It’s utter bullshit and a coincidence.
Raven has repeatedly warned me off and asked me to forget our mistakes. But that’s the problem. They don’t feel like they’re mistakes with her. Stopping last night was difficult. It went against my very being.
My body literally ached for her hours later. I couldn’t sleep.
I have already had a taste of what she feels like against me, and I want more.
The very idea of never having her mouth on mine again drives me completely insane.
My reasons for stopping were for the best. Sheisright. I’m her boss, and we need to keep things professional for the sake of Diosa and the future of the New York office.
Everything rides on the success of this branch. I refuse to go back to London with my tail tucked between my legs.
I have the means to begin my own company, but it would take years to build up the reputation that my father and I have worked for decades to build at Cavendish Corporation.
Diosa is the key to securing my future here, and I need Raven to help solidify that future.
Her ideas are what will keep the account for us because I know others are poaching. Diosa signed a contract, but their attorneys made sure to add a clause that it was all pending approval of the campaign.
Things have been done so ass-backward with this account. Typically, the pitch would’ve been made and the campaign finalized before the contracts were signed, but the launch of their new products changed their timetable and forced them to find their marketing team, and for us to have to scramble.
Raven practically ran from my office last night, and I’m petrified. What if she quits and leaves us with no project for the Diosa team? She’s here today, but that doesn’t mean she hasn’t already started looking elsewhere.
I need to make amends, and I do it the way all men do when they’ve messed up well and good.