No more. This ends now.
41
Raven
Come on,Asher. Pick up. Pick up.
I’ve been trying to get in touch with Asher since everything went to hell with Charles. I realized that by saying nothing, I was ruining everything.
Both men deserve better from me, and I’m determined to make amends.
I have to.
It’s eating away at me.
Asher deserves to know the truth. That he’ll only ever be my best friend, and I can only hope that’ll be enough for him one day.
Charles needs to know I feel the same way.
More even.
I’m not just falling. I’min lovewith him.
Spending the day away from the office and just enjoying each other has solidified it. I’ve never been in love, but the way my chest feels tight and my belly tingles in anticipation every time he’s near tell me this is something real. Something I’d be an idiot to ignore.
But it’s not just that.
It’s the way I feel in the quiet moments with him. Like I don’t have to fill the silence. I can relax and bask in the comfort he provides. It’s the way I want to make him happy. To make him smile.
I want to give Charles Cavendish all of me. Whatever will ensure that lighthearted man never leaves. The one I got to experience the day at the arcade and here at this house that holds so many memories for him.
I likely ruined things with him, but I can fix it. I have to.
Asher will tell me how to fix this. He’s always been my voice of reason, and once he gets over his hurt, he’ll be there for me through this, too.
I need him to know how I feel about Charles. He needs to know that this isn’t just a passing thing.
I love Charles.
If Charles will hear me out and forgive me for holding back, I have every intention of holding on to him. I don’t want a fling. I want forever.
Not now, but someday.
Asher is not picking up.
“Everything all right?” Charles asks, walking into the room, voice full of steel.
I whip around to find his hands are in his pockets, and his face is void of emotion.
Shit.
This is not good.
“I’m fine. I just can’t get ahold of Asher. He’s not answering any of my calls.”
“I didn’t realize you were still at odds.”
I sigh. “We are. I know you saw a bad side to him, but he’s not like that at all. It’s my fault anyway.”