“Oh, will you give it up? It was thirteen years ago. I was moving to a different state and you were going off to medical school to start your internship. I’d just blown out my knee and had no place to live.”
“You could have lived with me and you know it.”
“We weren’t there yet. It would have been for all the wrong reasons.”
“You weren’t there yet.” Mason accusingly corrected.
“Yeah, well, maybe I wasn’t! Big fucking deal. We never would have made it work anyway. I mean, look at you. That wasn’t the lifestyle you wanted. This is!”
Mason’s chest puffed and his nostrils flared as he said through clenched teeth, “Don’t tell me what I wanted. You want to blame anyone, blame yourself. This all has to do with you and your undying need to please your chronically miserable dad.”
“That’s not true. My dad had nothing to do with it.”
Mason couldn’t listen to another lie. He’d heard enough of them thirteen years ago. He wasn’t going to listen to them now. “Then why are you here? You didn’t have his approval then, so what would introducing him to your gay lover change? You threw away everything we could have had and for what? He’s dead now, Sean. Dead. Did he ever tell you, just once, that he loved you? Because I was ready to tell you every day for the rest of your life.” Mason’s voice cracked with emotion.
Sean looked up at him with such hurt in his eyes. He didn’t say a word for several heartbeats and then, “You’re right. I’m an idiot. I don’t know what I expected to find here, but…You’ve made your point loud and clear. I missed my chance.”
“Sean—”
“No. I’m sorry for barging in and messing up your life again.”
He turned to leave and Mason grabbed hold of his arm. Sean turned and just that quickly Mason felt the weight of the connection they had once shared. Visions of outdated dreams reintroduced themselves with the remembered pain that came when he learned Sean hadn’t loved him enough to be his partner forever. It could have, should’ve been him, but he left, leaving Mase floundering in the shambles of a broken heart. Sean’s presence changed nothing about the past, but he couldn’t watch him walk away again. Not yet.
“Don’t go.”
“I have no reason to stay,” Sean whispered in a defeated voice.
Mason stepped closer to him and tipped up his chin. “Stay, because no matter what, you’ll always be welcome in my life.”
Sean shook his head and shut his eyes. “I don’t belong here, Mase. It hurts to watch you two. I…I can’t do it.”
Emotion choked him for a moment. How could something from so long ago still hurt so much? Without thinking he swept his lips across Sean’s. Sean looked down into his eyes, questioning, but Mason had no words. He just wanted him to stay.
Like fuel being ignited by a flame there was a sharp crackle in the energy surrounding them and suddenly Sean’s mouth was on his, greedily taking what he had once offered so long ago.
Mason locked his fist in his boy’s coarse blonde hair and held him. The rough slide of stubble along his jaw abraded his face and Sean was backing him into the wall. He hit the bookcase with a soft thud and Sean pressed the bulk of his form into Mason. He bit at Mason’s lips and yanked his head back to suck at his neck. He roughly reached under his shirt and Mason stopped him.
“No.”
Sean stilled and pressed his forehead into Mason’s shoulder as he breathed heavily.
“This can’t happen,” Mason rasped. “I want you to stay, but it can’t be like this. I won’t do that to her.”
Sean stepped away and turned. He ran his hand over his head and gripped the back of his neck while he released a tense breath. “What’ll happen if I don’t stay as long as she expects?”
“It will be like this morning and the other day, only maybe worse. She wants you here. I want you here. I’m asking you to stay.”
Sean turned back to him and blew out a slow breath. “Alright, I’ll stay, but do me a favor.”
“Anything.”
“Put a lid on it in the bedroom. Last thing I need to hear is you fucking your wife.”
* * * *
Mason and Sean walked into the dining room just as Liberty placed three glasses of orange juice on the table, oatmeal, one cup in each bowl, three cut strawberries making nine perfect slices and three blueberries forming an isosceles triangle in between.
“Looks great! Thanks, Liberty,” Sean said as he took his seat.
Mason came over and squeezed her shoulder. “You okay, babe?” She gently nudged him off of her and mumbled a reply that could be taken as a yes or no. She didn’t want to talk about the uneasy nervousness barely banked inside of her at the moment.