Mason rolled to his side and she faced him. The lights were still on. He again didn’t hit the dimmer, but Liberty was only mildly bothered. Her mind quietly reconciling itself with the lack of consequence that followed last evening’s illuminated interlude. He reached over and twirled one of her curls around his finger.
“I think Sean’s lost a great number of things in his life, some things because of his own stupidity, and others due to no fault of his own. He has a lot of regrets, but I doubt losing his father is one of them.”
“Why do you think that?”
“Mr. O’Malley was a mean old bastard. When Sean was younger he used to beat him and his mother. Sean’s always feared one day he’d grow into his father and that’s probably why he’s never allowed himself to get too close to any woman.”
She shook her head. For as intimidating as Sean appeared, she was certain he was nothing more than a gentle giant. “Do you think Sean is capable of hurting a woman like that? I can’t imagine him doing that. He just doesn’t strike me as someone capable of being cruel.”
“No, I don’t think he could hit a woman or a child, but I’m not him. I do know that for Sean to get close with a partner they need to be strong, otherwise he’ll avoid all possibility of intimacy.”
“He is a big guy,” Libby added, imagining his enormous biceps.
Mason released her curls and trailed a finger over her collarbone and down to the shallow valley between her breasts. “Liberty?”
She lowered her lashes. “Yes.”
“I want to talk to you about the way we’ve been recently, intimacy wise, I mean. Do you feel like it’s improved our relationship?”
Greed had the ability to spoil many things that were near perfection. She’d learned long ago that tolerance and temperance were sometimes worth more than perfection. Benevolence was safe. She thought carefully about how to answer Mason.
She momentarily saw herself as a teenage girl cowering at her mother’s table, KarLyn’s cruel words cutting her down with the grace of a hacking ax.
‘You can be such a greedy brat, Liberty. It’s not enough that you are an only child, doted on without the distraction of other siblings. No, you’re not satisfied until you have everyone scrambling about, working to right the ridiculous drama you create. Nobody likes a liar. That’s what you are, you know, a little liar. I will not let your filth affect my happiness! You should be ashamed of yourself. What have I done to deserve such a petulant, dishonest child? What is this thirst in you to see your family so unhappy? Greedy and spoiled rotten, that’s what you are. Now get away from me. I don’t want to see you again until you’re ready to speak the truth. I’m done listening to your lies.’
Liberty looked into Mason’s eyes. “I’m very happy with our marriage, Mason. I have no complaints.”
“I understand that, but even good things can be improved. There is no denying that the last two times we’ve made love things have been a little more…intense. I’m not sure what caused this, but it seems to me it’s working for both of us. I need to know if I’m right. Do you like the way it’s been?”
She blushed. Greed could so easily lead to destruction. Her fears battled with her desires. Mason was not her mother. He loved her. She gave the slightest nod and he smiled.
“Is that a yes?”
She smiled back at him shyly. “Do you like it?”
“Yes. I always enjoy being intimate with you, but recently…I don’t know. Something’s changed. It’s like we’ve tapped into something that was locked up before. I feel this incredible rush when you surrender to me and let me have control.”
“You’ve always had the control, Mason. You know I don’t want it in that department. As much as I come off like a control freak, I’m really not. I know I’m sick. It controls me, not the other way around. But…you’re stronger than it and with you, when you’re in control, I feel… better. What’s inside of me isn’t my friend. It’s an intruder I wish would go away. You’re my husband and I love you and trust you with every part of my life. I’ll gladly give you control, because while I’m not strong enough to make it go away, you are.”
“You’re stronger than you think, Libby. Just look how far you’ve come since the night we met.”
She hated thinking about that night. True, it had brought her to Mason, but it was an ugly memory and always made her feel dirty. She couldn’t get it off. The filth that seeped from her pores that night clung to her like tar and there was no removing it no matter how hard she tried. An uncomfortable noise left her throat and Mason said, “Sorry. Don’t think about it. Let’s get back to what I was saying. I’ve been thinking that whatever this new energy is between us in the bedroom, I want to experiment with it, see how far we can take it. What do you think about that?”