He backs up, an evil grin coming over his stern features. “Baby, that’s where you think I care about your feelings. I don’t.” He shakes his head as another tear tumbles over my cheek. “You’ll grab your purse, suck it the fuck up, and move your shit. You know why, Bethany? I’ll tell you why. You fuckin’ owe me. That’s why.”
His fingers go to my chin, and he tips my head up so I meet his gaze and he drives it home. “You kept my kid from me for three fucking years, and I’m playing nice. Oh, baby, I’m beingsofucking nice to you, you have no clue the hell I could rain down over you.”
His hand drops, and he blinks, glancing away. “Fix your face; it won’t work on me. Be ready at six a.m. Set your phone alarm if you have too. I don’t give a fuck, but Maverick, that dog, and I will be loaded up no later than six fifteen.”
Swallowing again, I nod shortly, my eyes falling to the floor. I can’t look at him right now because, in this moment, I hate him all over again.
He hasn’t changed; he’s still as heartless as he was when I first met him. The beast I thought I’d tame, the broken man, meant for me. I was so fucking wrong.
He leaves the bathroom, and I pull my phone out to set my alarm. I damn sure won’t be letting him go anywhere with my son without me. While I’m at it, I send a text to the day manager, Brenda.
Me: I’m sorry to do this to you on short notice, but I won’t be back to work again. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me, giving me a job, working with my schedule and sick days.
Brenda: Oh no, Bethany! I’m sorry to see you go, I hope you’re all right.
Me: I am, my life is just changing and I can’t stop it.
Brenda: Life happens honey, I understand. You and little guy will be in my prayers.
Me: Thank you.
Thank God someone’s praying for me; Lord knows I’m going to need it where I’m going.
I wake up at five a.m. and get the groceries packed and clean the apartment as much as I can. It’s not great, but I’m hopeful the landlord won’t charge too much. He’s been nice, letting me make payments for the deposit and what not in the past, so hopefully, he’ll do the same with whatever bill I have left.
I can’t believe Nightmare’s making me break my lease. This will only add more to my already full load of trying to support Maverick and me. I need to see about getting another job this week. Something where I won’t have to leave Maverick too much but will give me some money to pay the bills I’ll have haunting me with this impromptu move.
Maverick and the puppy ride with Nightmare in whoever’s truck he’s borrowing, and I follow behind in my car, alone. It’s terrible, but secretly, I’m hoping Mav goes on one of his ‘no’ sprees for like an hour straight. I need to get some sort of payback, and while that’s nothing major, it’s enough to bring me a bit of satisfaction. Nightmare is nuts if he thinks it’s going to be all rainbows and sunshine having us in his space.
He’s never dealt with a sick kid who pukes and cries for three days straight or a toddler who decides to make breakfast once a week and destroys the kitchen in the process. He’ll learn, and while he’s figuring it all out, I’ll be saving any money I can. That way when he gets sick of playing daddy, I’m one step ahead and ready. I hope for Maverick’s sake that he never realizes just how much of an asshole his father really is.
Love is not an emotion,
it is your very existence.
-Rumi
“So, how’s it going?” Prissy sets her soda down, staring at me intently.
I sip from my cherry vodka Sprite and roll my eyes. “It’s been a week and the best way I’d describe it is, awkward.”
“Still? I figured with some time it would get better or easier.”
“He’s a good dad, so I’m thankful for that. He’s fine with me for the most part, too, but he’s still pissed. I know it.”
“You did keep his kid from him.”
“Fuck, I know, okay. Jesus, I get it. I fucked up majorly, and now I’m paying for it by letting a biker control my life.”
“It could be a lot worse; at least Night wants you guys in his life.”
“Whose side are you on? You’re my best friend, but it’s sounding more and more like you’re taking his side.”
“I’m Switzerland, okay. I think you both screwed up, and you’re both having to learn how to fix it now. Look, I don’t agree with how he got you here. But, I am grateful that you are. I missed you. I feel like he’s brought my best friend back to me, and he does sorta earn points from me for doing it.”
“So, you are on his side.”
She huffs, pushing the soda away and drinks from her beer. “I’m always on your side first.”