“Oh, I can meet him? How fucking generous of you.”
“Can we go now, please?”
“Huh?”
“We aren’t getting anywhere, and this is pretty embarrassing having the people around us overhear this conversation.”
“Oh, sorry, I’m embarrassing you? Guess you shouldn’t have kept my fucking kid from me then, huh?”
“You’re a bastard.”
“Yeah, I am. Get used to it dollface, you’re stuck with me for life.”
Another tear falls, and I grin. I really am a fucking bastard. Time she learns who’s in charge. She’ll quit her job and move down here; I’ll make certain of it.
She can think that she’s stubborn, but I’ll be up there riding her ass and seeing my kid every weekend until she gives in. I set up roots here; Bethany and Maverick are now a part of those roots, and I need to stay close to the club, to my brothers. Hope she enjoys club life, cause it’s about to become hers if I don’t kill her first.
“Grab your shit. We can take off, and you can introduce me to my son.”
She sighs and climbs to her feet, grabbing her phone. We head out to my bike, and I secure my helmet to her head. I only have one, and at this point in time, her life is far more precious than mine is. She’s the mother of my child, and that’s pretty fuckin’ important.
“So, you like animals, huh?” I watch as Maverick stands on one of the two-by-fours that encase the pigpen so he can see them better. He keeps oinking and snorting at them like they’ll talk back. It’s pretty entertaining.
“Ummm…yep.”
He waves to a pig as it walks in front of us. Maverick sounds just like his mom. I thought little kids weren’t supposed to talk really well, but he does a good job. He rambles a little, and I lose track of what he’s saying ‘cause it’s excited and fast, but everything else I’ve heard just fine.
He likes animals and trucks and my motorcycle. It’s a trip seeing so much of myself in him, too. If I had kept my hair shorter, we’d probably look even more alike.
“I like playing the drums with my band,” I admit randomly. Not too sure what to say to a kid really. I’m not around them much; well, not enough to have conversations and all. I could teach him how to play, though, if he wanted to learn. If the Flying Aces didn’t only have gigs in bars, I’d have him come and watch too.
He stays quiet, so I try again. “Maverick, do you know what dads do?”
“Ummm…” He shrugs his brown gaze just like mine, flicking to me briefly before going back to the hogs.
“We teach you cool stuff like moms do; only man stuff. We’re kind of like moms, but different,” I try to explain but realize I suck when I hear Bethany giggle behind us. “What I mean is, I’ll be here for you when you need something, like your mom.”
“Momma?” Mav cocks an eyebrow, glancing at B and then back to me.
“Yep, just like her, only I’m bigger and stronger so I can protect you good.”
“Snacks?”
“You’re hungry?”
Bethany interrupts. “No, he wants to know if you’ll get him snacks like I do.”
“Oh.” I blink and nod. “Yep, I’ll get you snacks, too.”
He grins at that, and it’s like my whole world tilts with that small smile.
Snacks and animals, I can do that, no problem. First off, I need to get him a puppy, and then he’ll never want to leave. Bethany has no idea what she’s up against.
I have to keep chanting to myself not to cry. It’s amazing seeing Nightmare and Maverick together like this, even if Nightmare has been anything but kind to me today. He’s treated me like I’m nothing, and, sadly, I know that I deserve this from him. He should hate me, especially after seeing how happy he is with Maverick.
Now, I wish I could go back and do everything over. I’d tell him that very night I asked him about us using protection. I’d share with him that I was sick and the doctor believed I was pregnant. We’d argue that it wasn’t true and then he’d learn it really was. He could see Maverick be born and hold him that very first day he came into the world. Things would be so different, life would be different, and he wouldn’t detest me as he does now.
Nightmare doesn’t have to hate me; I’ll punish myself enough for what I’ve done. I thought I was protecting my son, but really I was only keeping him from someone who loves him already. These past few years could’ve been so much easier having Nightmare in our lives to help. Even just being there would’ve made an impact. I could’ve come to see Princess more, and the entire club could’ve known about Maverick this whole time.