“Caitlin had a millionaire boyfriend with tons of fucking money,” I shout back. “We’ve got nothing, not even minimum wage jobs. And Caitlin ran to keep our family together and be with the person she loved, she didn’t do it to hurt anyone.”
Sam’s forehead wrinkles. “I’m not doing it to hurt anyone, either, I—”
“But you are, Sam,” I interrupt. “Like it or not, you’re hurting people. Think of that girl’s parents, her boyfriend, her friends. Think how all of them must be hurting right now. And how much they want justice for what happened to the person they loved.”
Sam bites her lips for a long moment before shaking her head slowly back and forth. “But it won’t bring her back, Danny. Nothing can bring her back.”
“You’re right,” I agree. “But you can make something horrible a little bit better. You can help bring some peace to her family, and show the other monsters out there that they can’t get away with doing shit like this. You can help other girls who are scared to come forward and—”
“You don’t get it. I don’t want to be a hero,” she says, voice tight. “I know you want me to be, but I can’t. Not this time. It’s too complicated, and I’m not going to do it.”
I study her for a long moment, reading her determination to stand her ground in her eyes, her squared shoulders, the hands curled into fists at her sides. She’s dug her heels in and she’s not going to budge, no matter what I say, no matter how many people she’s going to hurt.
All that’s left to decide is if I’m going to stand with her after everything I’ve learned this afternoon.
On the one hand, she’s still Sam, still my best friend, my lover, and the only person who could ever make me laugh so hard I literally couldn’t stand. On the other hand, she’s lied to me, run away from me, and is determined to choose the easy path over the right one. It’s not an unforgivable sin, and it’s not like I can’t understand the urge to shy away from the hard stuff, but it’s just so not Sam.
The girl I fell in love with would never do half of the things Sam’s done in the past few days, would never say the things Sam has said in this room. I’m not sure who she is, or what she stands for right now.
And if I don’t know that, how can I know our love is going to survive?
How can I know it isn’t already dying, and the optimistic way I felt today just a brief stutter in the downward spiral?
“If you need to go home, I understand,” she says softly. “I won’t blame you.”
I shake my head. The thought of leaving her is unimaginable. I can’t envision a life without her, but I’m not sure I can envision a life where Sam is wanted on a felony charge for obstruction of justice, either. This is all so crazy, and so…avoidable.
I’m never going to understand why she’s doing this. Even if I stay here and things go back to being good between us, it’s going to take a long time for me to trust her the way I used to, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to look at her the same way ever again.
“You’ve always been one of my heroes,” I say, voice rough. “You know that, right? Ever since we were kids. I wouldn’t have become a person I’m proud of without you.”
Sam’s throat works as she swallows. “So it’s my fault?”
“What?” My brows draw together, the movement making me realize my head feels like it’s going to explode. I haven’t had a headache like this in longer than I can remember. “What’s your fault?”
“That you’re leaving,” she says, the next blink of her eyelids sending tears spilling quietly down her cheeks. “Because I helped make you into someone too good for the person I am now?”
I suck in a breath, so close to crying with her I can barely breathe. “I don’t understand Sam. I don’t understand why this is happening, why we can’t just go back to California together and fix this.”
“Some things are too broken to be fixed, Danny,” she says softly before she turns and walks to the door.
She lingers with her hand on the knob but doesn’t turn around to look at me. “I’m going for a walk. If you decide you want to leave, please be gone before I get back. You can take the car to the airport and I’ll pay for your flight back to Maui. I’ll get online in the lobby tonight and have the ticket booked before you get to Auckland.”
“Sam, wait,” I say. “We’re not done. You can’t—”
I break off as she closes the door behind her, leaving me alone in the cabin where just this morning I was sure I’d woken up with everything I really needed in my arms.