Sam and I spend the entire week together, logging as close to twenty-four/seven as her parents and Sherry will allow.
We skate and surf and read comic books on the beach. We make a picnic and hike out to her friend Janis’s house, and spend the afternoon helping Janis and her parents harvest mangoes and bananas from the trees in their yard. We splurge on an afternoon at the movies, and walk around the mall, and do other dumb things that don’t seem as dumb as usual because I’m doing them with Sam.
And then, all too soon, the week is over, and I’m back at the airport.
This time, no one’s jumping up and down on the curb. Sherry hugs me hard, and tells me to stay strong, Bjorn gives me a stern handshake, and then it’s time to say goodbye to Sam, who convinced her dad to let her come along for the ride, even though she’s supposed to be spending Tuesdays with him during the summer.
“Call me as soon as you get there,” she says, pressing her lips together, making me think she’s trying not to cry. I know I am. “I don’t care what time. I’ll sleep with my phone by my bed.”
“I will,” I promise, wishing I could think of something better to say. But Sherry and Bjorn are standing a few feet away making everything feel more awkward by being grown up when Sam and I aren’t yet.
“Okay, then…” Sam bites her lip before launching herself at me and hugging me tight. “Don’t forget me,” she whispers into my ear. “Okay?”
“Never,” I whisper back, knowing it’s the truest thing I’ve ever said. I will never, ever forget her, and I refuse to believe what I feel for her is going to fade away, just because we found it too soon.
As I turn and walk into the terminal, I promise that I will find a way to stay close to Sam, no matter how much physical distance separates us. It won’t be easy, but that’s okay.
I may only be thirteen, but I know that sometimes you have to fight for the things you believe in.
And I have never believed in anything the way I believe in Sam.
Chapter Four
Samantha
Present Day
* * *
“What deep wounds ever closed
without a scar?”
–Lord Byron
* * *
The past ten hours could have been better, but they could also have been so much worse.
All in all, I’d say the flight was a success. I haven’t thought about any of the things I promised myself I wouldn’t, and Danny and I broke the ice after a long, difficult dry spell.
I’d been afraid being intimate again would be awkward at best, awful at worst, but it was neither of those things. After months of feeling nothing but numbness, interspersed with bursts of almost debilitating regret, I was shocked to find Danny could make my body do more than flutter. He’d made me burn, heating me up so quickly I’d already come on his hand by the time my mind caught up with what was going on.
It had caught up eventually, and done its best to ruin things, but I had managed to regain control.
I am in control.
I’m taking my life back and soon there won’t be anything anyone can do to stop me.
As we trudge up the Jetway, I slip Danny’s phone from the outer pocket of his pack and drop it into my purse without him noticing. I’ll take care of both of our phones in the bathroom. Once I do, there’s no way any of the bad things will be able to taint our fresh start.
Danny and I step out into Auckland Airport’s International terminal, where the afternoon sun is shining brightly through the floor to ceiling windows, and optimism floods through me for the first time in ages. My chest relaxes and my spirit lifts as we let ourselves be carried along by the crowd, through a massive ornamental archway where carved monkeys, birds, and a cat god with golden eyes stare down at all the exhausted travelers, warning us that we’re not in Kansas anymore.
As we pass beneath the warm, honey-and-sunset colored wood, a shiver passes through me. I can feel the new Sam slipping more firmly into place. I’m ready to throw my arms wide and embrace this adventure, and am positively giddy by the time we reach the restrooms just before customs.
“I’m going to run in and freshen up,” I say, giving Danny’s hand a squeeze before I release it.
“Me too,” he says. “Meet you by the water fountain.”
“Okay!” I practically jog through the burnt orange hallway into the mostly deserted bathroom. I can’t wait to pull the SIM cards from our phones and smash them to pieces.
I should have taken care of mine before we left Maui, but I wasn’t thinking beyond getting the hell out of the airport. But neither of us have turned our phones back on after we shut them down for takeoff, and I’ve been paying my own cell bill for years, so there shouldn’t be any way for Dad or Penny to trace my journey to the opposite hemisphere.