Instinctively, I guide Barcelona toward one of my childhood hiding places. They were good enough when I was young and overwhelmed and the castle and all the responsibilities waiting for me there felt too big, and they’re good enough for the man I am now.
A man who wishes being royal was enough to keep the pain away.
But pain comes for you, no matter how much money you have or who your parents are. I learned that when my dad left and again when my grandfather died.
But I survived both of those things.
I will survive this, too, even though right now the thought of living the rest of my life without a Sabrina in it sounds pretty damned bleak.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Sabrina
I skid to a stop under the oak tree sheltering the horses and watch Andrew race away from me on a white horse, Prince Charming in reverse, and curse myself for not getting through to him sooner.
I should have made him listen to me before we kissed.
Better yet, I should have confessed everything this morning at the museum. I should have followed my heart and trusted that honesty was the best policy, whether I was able to reach Lizzy for her permission or not.
Andrew has become my friend, and you shouldn’t lie to your friends, not even to keep a promise to your twin sister.
I feel awful and terrified and so guilty it’s like a weight tied around my neck, dragging me to the bottom of the shame ocean. But I can’t just stand here and freak out. I have to do something.
I have to go after him, even if my gut insists it’s hopeless.
There is always hope, always, no matter how hard it might be to see it.
I start for my horse, circling around to Death Wish’s side of the long hitching post.
“Elizabeth, wait!” a voice shouts from the direction of the picnic. A moment later, Nick appears under the oak tree, his breath coming fast, “What happened? Why did Andrew ride off like that?”
“I’m sorry. I can’t talk now.” I reach for the horse’s lead as Nick hurries toward us. Death Wish dances a few steps to the side as I untie her, but I whisper as soothingly as I can, “It’s all right, girl. We’re just going to go for a ride.”
“She hates storms.” Nick reaches out to stroke the horse’s tawny throat. “A lot of the horses do. And it looks like there’s a bad one coming.” He nods toward the mountains, where dark, puffy clouds with pitch-black bottoms are lifting their skirts to step over the peaks.
I bite my lip. “Will she be okay if we go slow?”
Nick makes a dubious sound. “Maybe, maybe not. But it’s not her I’m worried about. I don’t want you to get thrown. She’ll be warm in her stable tonight, one way or another. It’s just a matter of what she does to you before she gets there.”
“I have to risk it,” I say. “I have to follow Andrew and explain.”
“He gave you the drink, didn’t he?” Nick asks, making me freeze with my foot halfway to the stirrup.
Letting my boot fall back to the ground, I turn to face him. “What do you mean?” And why does he look so guilty?
No…
Surely Andrew wouldn’t…
“Elizabeth and Sabrina,” Nick whispers. “Only one of them is deathly allergic to strawberries.”
“What?” I murmur, stunned. If Andrew had been wrong, and I’d been my sister, he would have sent her into anaphylactic shock. Chances are, she would have had her EpiPen on her—she always does—and everything would have been fine, but the fact that he was willing to go there…
But then, he didn’t really go there, did he?
“I told him not to,” Nick says, lifting both hands into the air. “I told him it wasn’t worth putting anyone’s life at risk, but he—”
“He didn’t do it.” I cut him off with a shake of my head. “He didn’t give it to me. I found it in his coat and took a drink without asking. He didn’t try to poison me. And he wouldn’t have, anyway. Because I’m not…”
“I know,” Nick says, with such compassion that my eyes burn.
“We never meant to hurt anyone,” I whisper. “I was just supposed to take her place for a little while until she finished with work. I never imagined it would be like this. That I would start to…. That it would feel so…” I break off with a shake of my head as I tighten my grip on Death Wish’s reins. “I’m sorry, but I have to find him. I have to at least try to explain.”
“Take Hero instead.” Nick takes Death Wish’s lead and nods toward his own horse, a steady-looking gray stallion with kind eyes. “He isn’t scared of storms, and you seem like you could use a hero right now.”