“Not even Papa?” Grace frowned.
“Oh!” Her mother choked slightly. “I’veonlyever loved your father.” She swiped at more tears. “But he was married, Grace. He had a wife. He had two sons. Still, he loved me as much as I loved him.”
Grace couldn’t keep her mouth from dropping open. She’d always known her father had been married before. Her brothers were from his first marriage, after all. But she’d always thought her parents had metafterher father had been widowed. She’d had no idea they’d fallen in love before that. Heavens, her parentshadbeen scandalous. That had to be the secret the Duke of Danby had referenced in his letter last Christmas, the secret she and her sisters had tried desperately to uncover.
“I’m not proud of our actions, Grace. I’m not proud of the things we did. And I was miserable for years except for the stolen moments when we were together. I’m not proud at the relief I felt when his wife took ill and died, finally leaving us free to be married in the eyes of God. But even then, we only had a few years of happiness before Thomas died in that accident, and I was certain God was punishing me for everything we’d done up to that point.”
Grace wasn’t even sure what to say she was so stunned by the revelation.
“I don’t want that life for you, sweetheart. It’s a horrible existence.”
Grace didn’t want that life either. “What are you saying? That Ishouldrun off with Oliver?” She could cry off from her engagement, but Oliver couldn’t. If they ran away, they’d have to stay away the rest of their lives or be the worst sort of pariahs, not accepted anywhere, blackening their families’ names. Her sisters were married, but his were not, and they’d never live down the shame.
“I often wonder if I’d handled things differently if Thomas would still be alive. What if we’d kept our distance, and I’d found some nice man I could love instead? Would God still have taken him? Would he have lived to see his sons grow into men?” She swiped at more tears. “I would have rather God had taken me instead of your father, Grace. If I could do anything different, anything that might have changed what happened to him…”
Mama wasn’t even there when Grace’s father died. She was at home, in a very delicate condition, awaiting his return. Whatever the pair of them had done years earlier had no effect on the circumstances of that particular day. And as awful and tragic as all of that was, it didn’t really have anything to do the situation she and Oliver found themselves in either.
“Don’t do what I did, sweetheart. You’re stronger than I ever was. Put him from your heart. Do whatever you need to do because there is no happiness down the path you’re on. You can take my word for that.”
“So I should marry Mr. Lacy and try to forget I ever knew Oliver?” Whom she’d only known her entire life. How was she supposed to forget him?
“Mr. Lacy does seem like a nice gentleman.”
And he was that. But didn’t he deserve better than a wife who didn’t really love him?
“Even if he does have an unfortunate sister,” her mother muttered under her breath.
Grace shook her head at that final comment. She certainly didn’t have it in her to fight the battle about Daniel’s sister again. And one would think with her own mother’s scandalous past, she’d be more generous where others were concerned.
Chapter 11
How strangeit was to be reunited with her sisters. As triplets, they’d been together nearly every day of their lives until Patience married Doctor Campion at Christmas and then Hope married Lord Kilworth a few weeks ago. But now, the three of them were together once more, and everything seemed exactly the same and different all at the same time. Grace supposed that was the way of things. Their bond would never be broken, but they’d all gone their separate ways and nothing would be as it was ever again.
Patience lifted her teacup to her lips as she looked out at the expanse of Highfield from the veranda. “Mr. Lacy seems…nice.” She smiled as the summer wind blew through her blonde hair.
“She says he’s perfectly pleasant,” Hope muttered, before Grace could reply. Then she leaned back in her chair and tipped her head up toward the sun without the slightest care about whether freckles would blemish her complexion or not.
Grace narrowed her eyes on her most frustrating and adventurous sister. “Heisperfectly pleasant.” The two of them had only engaged in this conversation a few dozen times this last season since Daniel had proposed.
“Tell her,” Hope pleaded with Patience, “how one wantsmorethan a man who is perfectly pleasant for a husband.”
“Well,” Patience began, but Hope cut her off.
“Tell her she wants passion and excitement and love and—”
“I could tell her if you’d let me finish my sentence,” Patience complained.
But Grace’s nerves were still frayed from her conversation with Oliver the previous evening. She’d experienced passion, excitement and still loved him; and look where that had landed her.
“I just hate to see you settle for less than you deserve,” Hope added.
Patience smiled sadly. “If you don’t love Mr. Lacy—”
“I discovered Mama’s scandalous secret,” Grace blurted out because she simply didn’t have it in her to engage in this conversation again, and not with both of her sisters. Arguing with just Hope alone would be trying enough, but with Patience as well... “The one Danby mentioned in that letter,” she added to make certain she had their attention.
Both of her sisters shifted in their seats and gaped at her as though she’d just told them she planned to join a traveling circus and never return.
“I beg your pardon?” Patience found her voice first.