“And ruin your sisters in the process? You’d never forgive me for that. You’d never forgive yourself.”
“Grace,” he whispered. “I love you. I worship you. Don’t do this.”
“Grace,” Mama called from the threshold, but her eyes immediately darted to Oliver. “Oh, Lord Prestwood, I didn’t realize you were all done with port.”
He seemed to force a smile to his face and then he nodded a greeting. “Just now, Lady Bradenham.”
“Prestwood was just leaving, Mama,” Grace said. “But with his unfortunate sense of direction, he got lost. One would think with as many times as he’s visited Highfield he would know his way around better than he does.”
Mama looked between Grace and Oliver as though she didn’t believe that for a minute, but then she gestured to her right. “Down the corridor to the left.”
“Of course. Thank you so much, my lady.” And with that Oliver shot Grace one final glance before departing the music room.
Chapter 10
Oliver droppedinto the chair behind his desk and cradled his pounding head in his hands, wishing he’d wake tomorrow to discover the day’s events had all been a dream. But he knew he wasn’t suffering from a nightmare. Gracewasmarrying some other fellow, and the despair swamping him wasn’t something he’d ever felt so acutely in a dream.
He made his way to the sidebar, sloshed a healthy bit of brandy into a tumbler and lifted the drink to his lips. Then he retuned to his desk once more with both his glass and the decanter in his hands. His gaze landed on the mountain of correspondence that was teetering in the middle of his desk as he reclaimed his seat, and he released a sigh. Weeks in Westmorland had resulted in a million things that required his attention, and eventually he’d have to comb through it all. But the last thing in the world he wanted to do was to open even one letter. It wasn’t as though he’d be able to focus on anything at the moment. In fact, he may never be able to focus on anything for the rest of his life.
That was a sobering thought and perhaps quite accurate. He tipped back the rest of his drink and was tempted to pour himself another as the memory of kissing Grace and holding her in his arms washed over him again. Damn it all! How was he supposed to just let her go? He knew she still loved him, and he’d never stopped loving her.
Frustrated, he tossed his glass across the room, and it smashed into shards against the hearth.
“Heavens!” Ginny breathed out from the threshold. “Oliver, are you all right?”
He pushed back to his feet and forced a smile to his face. Damn it all. “Did I wake you?” he asked, feeling like the worst sort of villain. Ginny still wasn’t herself. She wasn’t the emaciated victim he’d found in Westmorland any longer, but she was still frail, still a shadow of the vivacious and cheerful girl she’d once been.
His sister shook her head. “Your nephew has a voracious appetite,” she said and started to cross the floor toward him. “We need to find a nurse to keep up with him.”
“Be careful of the glass, Gin,” Oliver said, feeling like an idiot for having thrown the tumbler in the first place.
“Was that an accident?” She navigated around the broken shards and slid into one of the open seats before his desk.
“Glass slipped.” He wasn’t normally one to lie to his sister, but protecting her had to come before dealing with his own heartache.
“It slipped as you hurled it toward your hearth?” Ginny’s ever-knowing silvery eyes settled on Oliver.
“More or less,” he hedged.
His sister nodded. “Am I to take it things didn’t go well at Highfield?”
“On the contrary,” he lied once more. “It was good to see Braden again. He sent his best, by the way. And I believe the dowager will come visit Mother in a day or so.”
She leaned back against the chair and looked so tired, so fragile Oliver’s heart twisted.
“We’ll find a nurse for little Frederick tomorrow, Ginny.”
“Thank you.” A sad smile settled on her lips. “I never imagined I’d be doing any of this without Freddie. I still can’t believe he’s gone.”
But it hadn’t always been that way. She hadn’t always loved Grasmere. In fact, she’d been rather indifferent to the man when she’d married him. “Did you ever resent Father for not giving you a choice in all that?” It was something he’d never even thought to ask her before. After all, whether she resented Father or not had no effect on the situation. Father had promised her to Grasmere and that was that.
Somehow, Ginny appeared even more heavyhearted, and Oliver wished he could call the question back. “Are you still in love with Grace Post?” she asked, stunning him completely.
Oliver’s mouth fell open. How in the world did Ginny know that? There wasn’t one person in the world to whom he’d ever confided that particular truth. “I beg your pardon?”
“I’ll never forget that night. You and Papa arguing, your voices raised, the desperation in yours.” She shook her head. “My heart broke for you, for Grace. I did resent Papa that night and many since on your behalf.”
Damn it all. Oliver had no idea anyone had overheard that conversation. Was anyone else privy to that information? “You never said anything.”