Almost as if she sensed his thoughts, Matilda pulled back slightly to look him in the eye and pointed out, “If people are still talking of your courting Lady Florentia, then she is also unaware you have no desire to continue doing so.”
Watson gritted his teeth. It sounded so much worse when the thoughts were not merely in his head but coming from the lips of the most beautiful and intelligent young woman he had ever met.
“You are right.” He sighed deeply and pulled her into him once more, not yet ready to let her go for fear that everything might change in the blink of an eye. “I promise that first thing in the morning I shall rectify the situation.”
He closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of the young woman at his side, breathing in her scent as he told himself that for just that moment he ought not to think about the future. He could think about that in the morning but for now he just wished to be with her and feel her at his side where he knew everything would be alright.
“Tomorrow all will be rectified,” he repeated softly with his eyes still closed, enjoying the way that Matilda leaned into him and allowed him to rest his chin upon her head, “For tonight, let us just be together.”
The very next morning, Watson did as he had promised. Leaving earlier than usual, missing his breakfast with his daughter because the truth was he was simply far too nauseous to even stomach the smell of food, he head directly to Lady Florentia’s residence where she dwelled in her father’s countryside manor alone due to the fact that her mother had gone off for a short period to join her father in London. He only knew as much due to the fact that he had been reading the letters sent even though he had refused to allow himself to respond to them.
Sitting in the carriage outside the manor, waiting for Quintin to knock upon the manor door and request an audience with the lady, Watson was perhaps the most nervous he had ever been in his entire life. A part of him even hoped that he might have missed her.
Perhaps she had changed her mind about staying behind and gone off to London to join her parents for the duration of their stay there. Perhaps then, he could merely let her know via letter all that she needed to know without feeling entirely guilty about having broken the news in such a manner.
Yet, Quintin hurried down the porch steps two at a time as soon as he had spoken to the lady’s butler, and Watson knew what his hurrying meant. The butler had already gone off to announce his arrival to Lady Florentia and there was no turning back now.
“The lady will be awaiting you in the drawing room, Your Grace,” Quintin announced as soon as he reached the carriage door which he had left open, likely expecting for Watson to climb out while he headed for the door. Yet Watson had sat there as if he were frozen, feeling as though he could not move. Even now that he knew the lady was in residence, he still could not get himself to stand up and make his way to the door.
Closing his eyes, he sucked in a deep breath and braced himself for what was to come. Having known Lady Florentia from a distance for many years, he was adamant that this was not going to be a very easy conversation.
I was such a fool to get involved with her,he realised. Though if all had gone well, he was still sure she would have been a perfect match when it came to all of his reasonings for wanting a wife to be mother to his daughter, he was surer than ever that she never would have been able to make him happy.
In fact, it had been so long since he had felt happiness, true and unbridled happiness, that he had forgotten entirely what it felt like. That was until he had seen the way that Matilda and Amy interacted with each other, and he knew that he could not ever have accepted anything less. The affection the two of them had for each other seemed like a one in a million chance, especially after all the governesses his daughter had sent packing in the past.
“Are you well, Your Grace?” Quintin questioned and Watson’s eyes flew open. Quickly, he realised that he had been frozen for much longer than he had believed, lost in thoughts of Matilda and his daughter all over again.
Clearing his throat, he quickly nodded and said, “Quintin, take the carriage back to the house. I shall walk home.”
Even as he clambered from the carriage, the steward looked unconvinced. “Are you certain, Your Grace, we are pleased to take as long as you should need.”
Watson shook his head and glanced at the clear blue sky. “It is such a lovely day. I should like to walk home and you likely have more important things to do than wait around for me.”
Watson gulped past the growing lump in his throat. The truth was that he did not want Quintin anywhere near when he admitted to Lady Florentia that there was to be nothing between them anymore. He did not like the thought of how the steward might look at him after all these months of courting the woman.
He might even be brave enough to tell Watson that he was throwing away a wonderful thing and Watson was frightened he might actually begin to listen to the man whom he trusted with his life.
“Very well, Your Grace,” Quintin said with a bow and Watson watched him pull himself up into the carriage before closing the door behind him. The steward leaned out of the window and added, “I am sure Lady Florentia will happily send a messenger if you change your mind.”
“I am sure she will,” Watson responded, forcing a smile even while he thought,I think she would sooner throw me out and have me walk a hundred miles home after what I will put her through.
The butler was just hurrying back to greet him as he stepped into the front door. With a smile, the man bowed and said, “Your Grace, please, allow me to take your coat.”
Watson paused momentarily, wondering whether he ought to decline the offer. At least if he kept his coat on, he could make a quick exit when things inevitably flew sideways. Then he quickly decided against it. The last thing he wanted was to offend Lady Florentia anymore. It would only be respectful to remove his coat and his hat.
“Thank you,” the Duke responded and quickly removed both with the help of the butler.
“Please, follow me, Your Grace,” the butler said after having placed the Duke’s coat and hat on the nearest hanger. Watson silently nodded and gestured for the butler to lead the way even though he already knew very well where Lady Florentia’s drawing room lay after so many previous visits.
As he walked down the hall he could feel his heart hammering in his chest. The nerves and anxiety over the entire thing were far worse than he ever could have imagined. Closing his eyes momentarily at the door of the drawing room while the butler went in to announce him, he tried his hardest to imagine that this was just another business meeting, that he had come to decline the offer of another nobleman who was trying to partner up in business.
Though it helped to ease his nerves slightly, his palms were still sweating and he was hot under the collar when the butler gestured him into the room.
“Lord Worthington, this is a most unexpected and happy surprise!” Lady Florentia exclaimed, stepping forward from where she was standing beside the fireplace as soon as he entered. “Please, do come in and sit with me. I have already sent the butler for some tea.”
“Thank you, Lady Florentia but I do not believe I shall be here long enough to partake,” Watson admitted, struggling to speak past the sudden lump in his throat. It appeared that Lady Florentia had taken several minutes to ensure that she looked her best before allowing him into the room.
As always, she was beautiful and dressed elegantly in a slender fitted bodice decorated with pink flowers, while her skirts flowed out all around her, encouraging her waist to look small while her hips were most definitely those of a well-bred child bearer. Watson had to admit that her looks had definitely helped when it came to trying to choose the woman he thought would one day be his bride.