Matilda was well aware of just how close the teacher was sitting to her and although Mr Hayman had never said so out loud, she was all but certain that he had an eye for her. She could see it in the way he smiled, hear it in the way that he talked, and she even felt it in the gentle touch of his hand which he sometimes laid upon hers whenever they were sitting close or he wished to help her with something.
Matilda was only glad that he had not spoken of his feelings aloud. At least then she could pretend that she had no idea of them. She could merely enjoy the company of an intellectual man who put a brilliant smile upon Lady Amy’s face. The last thing she wanted was to have to let him down gently and risk ruining the bond that they had all begun to share during their weekly teaching visits.
“I…if I must admit something, it is that I am struggling a little with homesickness,” Matilda admitted. It was not entirely untrue. She had been missing her family and her home and there were things that happened when going about her day that reminded her of both terribly. Though she had written home and her parents had responded, it was nothing like sitting down at the dinner table of an evening and sharing their daily news.
“I am certain that your family misses you too, Miss Percival,” Mr Hayman responded and there was a glint in his eye that warned her he was about to say something charming or even flirtatious. “I know that I would miss you terribly if you were not around.”
Matilda could not stop her cheeks from blushing at his comment and she was most relieved when Lady Amy finally finished her stone skimming and came hurrying up the bank to join them. Clearing her throat, Matilda quickly moved away from Mr Hayman so that the young girl could sit between them.
It was not the first time that Lady Amy had interrupted them during a moment when Matilda thought that Mr Hayman was growing close to spilling his feelings. And it was not the first time that Matilda had felt the urge to kiss the girl for doing just that.
The truth was that although Matilda liked the teacher, he was not the Duke. She had tried not to admit it to herself. She had tried to force all thoughts of him away, and yet whenever the teacher said something sweet or looked at her a certain way, she found herself imagining that it was actually His Grace. It was a grim thing that made her heart ache and her stomach churn, and she had no idea of how to fix it.
Stop being unprofessional!she snapped at herself over and over again, morning and night, even pinching herself in an attempt to remove the thoughts from her mind whenever they started to creep in again. And yet no matter how hard she tried, her thoughts always circled back to that night in the Duke’s study where he had kissed her and made her feel more alive than she ever had in her entire life.
“Perhaps you should ask Watson if he might allow you a trip home?” Mr Hayman suggested with a smile over Lady Amy’s head. “I would be happy to escort you, if he would be willing.”
Hearing Lady Amy gasp, Matilda barely managed to stop her own from becoming audible. She quickly braced herself, wondering what the young girl might have to say on the matter. She could only hope that her young charge would not be encouraging of such things. Though she would have loved to travel home and see her parents and the rest of her family, she was not entirely sure that she wished to take a man like Mr Hayman home with her.
Of course, he was handsome and intelligent, and they got on fairly well, yet she was not at all sure what kind of a message that might send to her parents who had often suggested she look toward academics for a husband. She still remembered the day she had told her parents she wished to become a governess and how they had insisted that it would be no good for her marriage prospects.
I wonder what they would say if they could see me now,she thought, sure she could feel a sexual tension coming off Mr Hayman, the likes of which she had only felt once before, in the Duke’s study when she had been all too willing to offer the same tension in return.
“No, Matilda! You cannot leave!” Lady Amy practically screamed between them, coming to the rescue right at the very moment when Matilda thought she might have to decline the man’s offer herself. “You cannot go anywhere with all that is going on at the moment.”
Offering Mr Hayman an apologetic look over Lady Amy’s head, Matilda leaned over and pulled the girl into her arms. “Fear not, Lady Amy. I am not going anywhere.”
***
Several days later, Matilda was surprised that upon preparing to take a walk down the country lane and over the fields with Lady Amy—to see what they could find to learn about that day—the Duke joined them in the entryway as they were putting on their coats and suggested that he would like to go with them.
Feeling that things had become far less awkward since their conversation on both agreeing that they ought to keep things strictly professional, Matilda was all too pleased to welcome her employer to walk with her and her young charge, thinking how good it would be for Lady Amy to share some time with her father after the dreadful encounter they had shared during Lady Florentia’s visit.
Lady Amy appeared the happiest that she had been since Matilda arrived at Thistledown Manor as the three of them stepped out of the manor and she went rushing off down the porch stairs to go about her usual ritual of looking for frogs in the centre fountain before they took their walk.
“Lady Amy, be careful!” Matilda called after her. “It rained a little last night, and it might be slippery.”
When she glanced back at the Duke, slightly embarrassed at the fact that they were barely out of the house and she had already lost control of his daughter, she saw that the look on his face suggested they had both been expecting it. He smiled at her and gestured her down the steps, looking quite at ease with allowing his daughter to merely have fun for a change.
“Let her have the time while nobody is around,” he told her and Matilda was surprised to feel his hand on the small of her back as he guided her down the porch steps, sticking close as if he was well aware just how slippery the steps were.
“Thank you,” she said when they reached the bottom and discreetly moved away from the Duke to be careful that he did not touch her again. Just the simplest of touches through the material of her dress had been enough to make her heart race.
“Matilda! Look!” Lady Amy yelled, drawing the governess away from the Duke. Matilda happily hurried to the girl who was leaning over the edge of the fountain and grabbed her just in time before she started to fall into the water. Even as she helped her correct herself, Matilda gasped at what the little girl held in her free hand.
“You found one!”
“Come and look what I caught, Papa!” Lady Amy called over her shoulder at her father and to his credit, the Duke came running dutifully.
“Lady Amy, be careful. That is not a frog. It is a toad and toads have a tendency to bite,” Matilda warned the girl but before she could take it from her, the Duke swept in and did so. The governess was surprised when the Duke did not scold his daughter. Nor did he try to release the toad back into the fountain. Instead, he perched upon the fountain between Lady Amy and the governess and allowed the toad to sit calmly upon the palm of his hand.
“I do believe this one is friendly, Miss Percival,” he told her with a smile over his hand even as he stroked his index finger down the spine of the toad. “Would you like to touch it?”
Matilda’s stomach churned. She would have liked nothing less, and yet in the face of the Duke, she could not bring herself to look like a coward. Carefully, with a shaking hand, she reached out and stroked her own finger down the toad’s knobbly back.
Everything was fine right until she had almost reached the bottom and the creature suddenly let out a horrendous croaking sound. It leapt so suddenly from the Duke’s palm that none of them had time to prepare. And somewhere in the flailing of arms and legs, the toad plopped right back into its watery home, right over the Duke’s shoulder.
Together, they all stood laughing tremendously until the Duke removed his handkerchief from his breast pocket and offered it to Matilda, “Here.”