But Hudson didn’t look irritated as he stared him down. Nah, his roommate seemed steady as usual. Not that the big man didn’t have feelings—he totally did—but he seemed like he had a whole bunch of gears of emotion, and it took a hell of a lot to send him into overdrive, whereas that was where Ian ended up whenever he couldn’t simply shrug something off. Which was a lot.
“You’re right. It’s not fair. It’s not fair that because he’s got money and privilege coming out his ass that he gets to behave like an animal. Worse than because he’s got the capacity to be better and he just…isn’t. Do you want to be like that?”
“I don’t want to be…”
“And you can’t afford to be,” Hudson pointed out.
Fuck if that wasn’t true. It was total bullshit that he’d get treated differently because he had a scholarship instead of his family having a building named after them on campus. But as stupid as he could be, Ian understood that sometimes that’s how the world worked. And knowing that sure as hell didn’t make swallowing that bitter pill any easier. If anything, it made him angrier.
“That’s shitty and I hate it!” he yelled, feeling hot tears sting the backs of his eyes, wanting to smash things and trash their tiny room.
“Same. It’s sucks.”
“Sucks giant donkey balls,” Ian grumbled, still feeling wound up and frustrated and like he was going to burst at the seams, fly into a rage and break shit.
“Sucks massive elephant dick,” Hudson agreed. “But you know what would suck more? You getting kicked out and that fuckface getting to stay. So the way we’re going to win is by you walking across that stage in a few years with the same degree that asshole is going to have. So that’s what we’re gonna do.”
“We?”
It had been easy to become friends with Huds. From the first day, they’d just…worked. Nothing about being roommates had been a struggle, they’d just gotten along. And when they’d gone home for winter break, Ian had felt like he’d left part of himself back in his dorm room. Still startled him sometimes how closely intertwined his life felt with Hudson’s, and he didn’t see that changing anytime soon. If anything, he could only see them getting closer. Wasn’t really sure, in fact, where that might stop.
Ian had never been particularly attached to the label “straight” but he’d never been with a guy. Not because he wouldn’t but more because no one had given him reason to be. But Hudson? If Huds wanted to fuck or make out, Ian could see that being as easy and as right as the rest of their relationship.
And the way his roommate said “we” like it was so fucking obvious that this was a project for both of them, like Ian’s success and well-being mattered as much to Hudson as it did to him—maybe more because Huds wasn’t a reckless, impulsive jackass like he was—made the tears prickling his eyes change from pent up fury to something like gratitude.
“Yeah. What part of ‘we’ don’t you understand? Where you go, I go, understand me? You fuck up and get kicked out, I leave too. Do you want me to drop out of college, Ian?”
“Jesus Christ. No, of course not. Your mom would kill you.”
That was true and Hudson would let her. What was he going to do, fight back against five-foot-nothing Elsa Lindberg, even if she was vicious as fuck? Nah. That woman had her massive sons under her thumb. Maybe it was her meatballs, they were delicious.
“So what do I need to do to help you not get kicked out of school?”
“If I knew that I’d just fucking do it,” Ian spat back, his temper flaring again.
“Mmm, I don’t think you would,” Huds said with a pensive shake of his head, dark brows gathering as his eyes narrowed.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
Ian was seriously going to get whiplash from all his emotions. Why were they always so big, tossing his brain around inside his skull like it was a dinghy on stormy seas?
“That’s not what I meant. I meant…you never had me before. You’ve got more options now, maybe stuff you’ve never thought of. Like what do you want right now? More than anything? First thing you think of.”
“To punch someone.”
“Then punch me. Or try,” Hudson shrugged.
* * *
He’d made the offer and meant it, anticipated his friend’s response, but it was still kinda shocking to have Ian barreling toward him like a ginger freight train. Head down, his roommate rushed him and slammed his shoulder into Hudson’s gut. Luckily he’d had time to tense so he didn’t get knocked on his ass or get the wind knocked out of him. Felt the impact, sure, because Ian might weigh half as much as he did and be a good six inches shorter but he wasn’t a small guy. Strong too, and crazy like a Tasmanian devil. Or maybe a honey badger. Ian definitely didn’t give a shit.
Hudson wrestled Ian to face away from him and the batshit motherfucker roared and kicked and threw his fists. Caught Hudson in the shin and Hudson swore. This might’ve not been his best laid plan.
“You vicious little bastard,” he muttered, trying to get a grip on the flailing guy in his arms. Wasn’t easy, and to be honest, he wouldn’t want it to be.
He knew Ian’s emotions could get the best of him and if it wasn’t a struggle to contain him, it would’ve meant Ian wasn’t giving it his all, and what was the point of that? He wanted his friend to blow off all the steam that was building up inside him, not let it out slowly with agonizing shrieks like a teapot left to boil too long.
Ian managed to squirm around and started delivering short, sharp jabs to Hudson’s ribs. Didn’t feel good but he wasn’t going to score any real damage. Probably just felt good to Ian to pummel some flesh, feel the impact of his knuckles against skin and muscle and bone.