"Point taken." She tears off another bite of pizza and speaks with her mouth full. "When are you going to tell me why you're afraid of relationships?"
I open my mouth to deny it, again, but freeze. Ever since Arden first suggested I'm scared of relationships, I've kept thinking about that. Whether she's right. Whether there is a reason behind my behavior. I can't believe I want to talk to her about this, but I suddenly realize I do want that. "Let me start by saying I'm not afraid. But I might be... reluctant."
"Okay. I'll accept 'reluctant' for the moment."
Setting down my paper plate, I rub my hands up and down my thighs. "When I was at school, girls didn't pay much attention to me until I joined the rugby team. I was sort of shy back then. Sports helped me get over that. And when I started scoring the winning goals, girls started propositioning me. I guess I learned that sports and sex go hand in hand, and that women only want me for one thing."
"Hmm. Did your parents know what was going on?"
"Do you think I'm an idiot?" I say. "I learned how to hide things from them. They caught me with a girl in my bedroom once, and I got a stern talking-to. But by then, I liked sex too much to give it up. I got better at hiding what I was up to."
She chews her last mouthful of pizza and swallows before she asks, "Do you still think sex is all you're good for?"
"No. At uni, I realized I'm pretty good at business too, especially marketing and advertising."
"But you still think you don't want a relationship with any woman."
Here, tonight, with Arden... I'm beginning to reevaluate what I want. My realization from earlier today comes back to me, and I know without any doubts that I want more than sex with this woman.
"Never mind, I'm being too nosy," Arden says. She grabs a fresh paper plate and puts two slices of apple pizza on it. She holds the plate between us. "Time for dessert."
After we eat the apple strudel pizza, we watch two movies on television, then it's time for bed. Arden asks if I want to sleep with her---just sleep, no sex---but I say I'd rather sleep in my own room. It's a lie. I'd much rather crawl into bed with her for the night, but I don't trust my willpower.
I walk her to her bedroom door.
She kisses my cheek.
"There's something I need to tell you," I say.
"Go on."
"I want to date you, Arden."
She stares at me, her gaze nailed to mine. "Date? As in... date?"
"Yes."
"Isn't that kind of what we've been doing all day?"
"Sure, but I want to make it official." I hold out my hand like I want to shake hers, realize that's a stupid thing to do, and clasp her hands instead. "Let's get to know each other for the rest of the two weeks until the wedding. No sex, just dating. Are you interested in that? With me?"
"Of course I am." She smiles shyly, the way she did right before we had sex for the first time. "I'd love to date you, Reese."
"Brilliant." I kiss her forehead. "Good night, Arden."
"Good night."
She goes into her room and shuts the door.
I'm dating. Me. Dating. It's a precursor to a relationship, and I'm volunteering for it.
And it feels bloody fantastic.
Chapter Twelve
Arden
This morning seems brighter and more beautiful than ever before. Reese and I are dating. For the first time ever, I feel like I'm with a guy who doesn't want my trust fund or my body. Well, not only my body. Reese asks about my family and the things I like to do. He lets me drag him through museum after museum and even seems to enjoy it.