She feigned shock. "Damian Petrescu is refusing to take credit for giving awesome dating and awesome sex?"
"Very funny. I take full credit for the sex, but the rest was all you." I raised my brows. "Thought we weren't dating, anyway. Friends only, you said."
"Oh, forget about that. We're dating."
I stared at her. Probably with a blank expression. Or possibly with my mouth hanging open. Maybe both.
She gave my shoulder a little shove. "Why are you catatonic because I admitted we're dating? I thought you'd be happy."
"I am happy, but I feel rightfully shocked. Thought you'd need a lot more time to get over your anxieties." I couldn't help smiling with smug satisfaction, though it was the sarcastic kind. "Damn, I'm even better than I realized. One night of hot sex and two days of wooing, and you're begging me to be your boyfriend."
"There's been no begging. Don't turn back into arrogant Damian. I'm starting to like the sweet guy under the Dracula-knockoff exterior."
"Now you're back to calling me a knockoff?" I wrapped an arm around her, tugging her against my side, bringing our faces to within a hair's breadth of each other. "Maybe it's time I give you my awesome dirty talk. You'll never insult me again once you've heard me whisper filthy things into your ear."
"Go on. I'm ready for that."
"Maybe later. This is a workday for me, so I need to get into concierge mode."
"Okay. What about tonight?" She snuggled up to me, running her palm over my chest. "I need you to talk dirty and fuck me, Damian."
I coughed, like that would ever stop my dick from getting hard. Which it was. Right now. "Tonight, for sure. I swear a solemn Ludar oath to fuck you senseless tonight."
She grinned.
And I went to work.
I wanted to spend my lunch break with Heidi, but her friends commandeered her for a girlie shopping trip in town. Instead, I ate alone in the office.
My cell phone rang while I was wolfing down a big bite of my turkey club sandwich. I fished it out of my pocket and answered while still chewing.
"Damian, don't speak while eating. How many times have I told you that's uncouth?"
"Mom?" I swallowed and cleared my throat. "It's my lunch break, so yeah, I was eating. Pardon my rudeness for not wanting to starve."
She clucked her tongue. "My sweet boy is becoming a heathen out there in the woods."
"Did you call to give me a verbal spanking? Or was there a genuine reason?"
"Of course there's a reason." She paused, probably for dramatic effect. My mother had always loved doing that. "We're coming for a visit, to see what about the Oregon woods has lured our son into the nudist lifestyle."
"I work here, Mom. It's a legitimate job, not an excuse for getting naked and sleeping with hot girls. And for your information, I keep my clothes on during work hours."
"We need to check on you. Your father is booking our flight as we speak."
"No, Mom, you will not invade the resort. I'm a big boy, and I can take care of myself. I think we're all booked up, anyway." I had no idea if that was true, but I hoped so. I loved my family, but they—especially my mom—could be a bit much. Heidi would panic for sure if my mother showed up and started grilling her like a shish kebab.
"Ollie reserved rooms for us," Mom said. "And he told Mary you have a girlfriend, so she told me. I should have heard that from you, Damian, not from Ollie's mother."
Yeah, my mom and Ollie's mom were good friends, and sometimes Ollie inadvertently told his mom something I didn't want my parents to know, and then Mary would tell my mom. I couldn't blame Ollie, though. He'd always sucked at lying, and besides, it was my problem, not his.
"Who is she?" Mom asked.
"I, uh, well…" Was it wrong to tell my mother to go suck a lemon? "I only just started seeing this girl, and I don't need you guys getting in the middle of things. Please hold off on your visit until later."
Maybe I should've begged. Or shouted. Or begged in a shouty voice.
But no, that wouldn't have worked. Once my mother made up her mind, there was no stopping the runaway train.