I didn't see Heidi for the rest of the afternoon or in the evening. She must've been hiding in her room. Ruth Norris told me Heidi had "skulked" into the dining hall to grab some dinner, then took her meal somewhere else to eat it. Her room, I was sure. This was my fault, though I couldn't quite figure out why. I hadn't done anything more salacious than massaging her hand and talking about the mounts, those fleshy little mounds on her palm. Maybe the word mount had freaked her out. Could she have thought I meant I wanted to "mount" her right there in my gypsy wagon?
No, she was too smart not to realize "mount" had other meanings unrelated to sex. I did want to use that word in its dirty meaning, but not until Heidi got comfortable with the idea of sleeping with me. Maybe she'd panicked because I talked about the Mount of Venus and how it represented passion and sexuality. I hadn't invented that stuff to get her horny. It was a genuine part of palmistry.
I could drive myself crazy trying to figure out why Heidi ran away, so I stopped trying.
Eve and Val were hosting a staff dinner at their place tonight, and I never missed those, even though I kind of felt like a fifth wheel. Eve and Val, Mara and Ollie, they'd coupled up big time. Me? I couldn't convince Heidi not to freak out when I massaged her palm. So yeah, I attended the staff dinner as the obligatory fifth wheel stuck at the end of the table. Both couples sat side by side, exchanging loving glances and affectionate smiles while I pushed food around on my plate and tried to talk my stomach into wanting noodle omelet and spinach.
Vegetarian wasn't my thing. But mostly, I couldn't work up any enthusiasm for food because I kept thinking about Heidi.
"What's wrong with you tonight?" Ollie asked. He was sitting beside me, though he faced across the table instead of facing me.
"Nothing's wrong."
"You've been frowning at your food and moving it around like you think an alien creature will burst out of your noodle omelet any second to strangle you."
"Shouldn't you be making goo-goo eyes at your fiancée? She's probably feeling neglected since you haven't looked at her in at least ten seconds."
Ollie's brows hiked up. "Since when do you get grumpy? Something's definitely up with you tonight."
"I am fine," I said, emphasizing each word so maybe he'd believe me. Yeah, sounding grumpy might not have been the best tactic to refute his claim.
"Did you and Heidi have a fight?"
"We're not dating, so we can't have a fight. Not the kind you mean."
I suddenly realized everyone was looking at me. Looking and listening. Damn.
Eve, who sat opposite Ollie, touched my hand. "We all saw Heidi fleeing from your gypsy wagon this afternoon. Seemed like you must've had a fight."
"Why can't any of you grasp the concept that Heidi and I are not a couple?"
"But you like her a lot. Don't you?"
I did like Heidi, but this wasn't the kind of thing I wanted to talk about at the dinner table with Eve, Val, and Mara. Ollie was my best friend, so I would've talked about it with him. It shouldn't have been a group discussion, though.
"Can we talk about something else?" I asked.
Eve patted my hand. "Go talk to her. You two can work things out, I know."
My first impulse was to remind Eve, and everyone else, that I was not dating Heidi Mackenzie. But more grumpiness would only convince them I had a thing going on with Heidi. Maybe I did, sort of. I couldn't force her to want to have a thing with me.
She kissed me. Didn't that mean she wanted to be with me?
Forget about Heidi, you idiot.
Everyone was still staring at me.
"I'll talk to Heidi," I said.
That seemed to satisfy my friends, and they went back to exchanging lovey-dovey gazes and enjoying their meal. I managed to eat my food, though I didn't enjoy it. I might as well have scarfed down a plateful of Styrofoam peanuts since I didn't taste the food at all.
Maybe I ought to go see Heidi.
No, that would be stupid. Only if we were dating would I feel the need to "work things out," as Eve put it. Since I wasn't involved with Heidi, I did not need to see her.
When I tried to volunteer for clearing the table and loading the dishwasher, four people told me emphatically "no" and all but shoved me out the door. "Talk to Heidi," they said, almost at the same time, like a chorus of meddling friends.
I should've gone to my room and forgotten about Heidi. I intended to do that. Honestly, I did.