I storm to the princess room and slam the door and lock it.
“Baby girl, of course it means something. The only reason I’m going, is because Elle wants to see him. I can’t have her go by herself. I need to be there for her,” he shouts through the door.
I open the door and look into his eyes, “I will probably never be okay with him coming for Sunday dinner.”
He pulls me into his chest, “I would never expect you to.”
Lifting me in his arms, bridal style, he says, “Back to our bed where you belong.”
Maybe I didn’t have a right to even get upset. He is his son. Could I really expect that he’d never speak to him again? Of course not. But the thought of ever seeing Nash again makes me feel sick.
I lay in his arms and ask, “Does Elle hate me?”
“What? No.”
“Because Nash is in jail because of me.”
He sighs, “Oh baby girl, Nash is not in jail because of you. Nash is in jail because of his choices, not yours. He has no one to blame but himself. Elle does not hate you. It breaks her heart that he did what he did.” He continues, “The reason she wants to go is because of you. She thinks she can talk him into pleading guilty to spare you the ordeal of a trial.”
“Do you think he’ll listen to her?”
I’ve thought a lot about the trial and having to go on the stand to tell a whole room full of strangers what he did to me. I don’t want to do it. But I won’t let him walk free, either. I’m glad my dad didn’t kill him, but I want him to pay, just not with his life.
“Elle and Nash grew up more like siblings because they are so close in age. They have an unbreakable bond. If anyone can make him do the right thing it’s her. And now, of course, he doesn’t have drugs, I’m hopeful that she can get through to him.”
I stroke his cheek gently, “I can’t go with you, Liam.”
A horrified expression crosses his face, “I wouldn’t let you if you said you would. You can stay here or go wherever you like, but not there.”
“I think I’ll go shopping for some things for Ivy.”
“We need to officially ask to be her foster parents. She’s going to be ready to be discharged soon. She’s in remission. That’s if you’re planning to stay.”
“I know. Gloria texted me. I’m not going anywhere.”
He beams at me until he sees my expression.
“What is it? Talk to me.”
“It’s just the sex, I mean it was great, it always is.”
“But?”
A tear rolls down my cheek as I blow out a breath, “Don’t treat me like I’ll break if you’re too rough. I’m okay, I promise. I’ve had about a million hours of therapy. Liam, I don’t want you to treat me any different than you did before.”
“A million hours?”
“I was in the hospital for a week after it happened.”
“Why? Did you have injuries?”
“On a psychiatric hold.” I speak quietly.
His jaw immediately tenses, and this is exactly what I was afraid of.
“Liam, don’t.”
“I wish you hadn’t gone through that alone.”