She rolls her eyes at me, “Yeah, you can talk to my brother. This has gone on long enough.”
“About Ivy, you mean?”
Placing her cup on the table, she stares at me, “Well, yeah you two need to figure that out. But I mean talk about whatever. Ivy, your relationship, the fucking weather. Whatever. But this silence between the two of you? Enough already. Just talk. He didn’t do anything wrong, Mercy. The only thing he has ever done is love you unconditionally. Stop punishing him for Nash’s choices.”
I nod, “I will. Soon.”
She gets up, “I have to go. We have difficult things to do today. Don’t let soon turn into weeks or months. Life is short, don’t waste it.”
“Of course,” I say.
Turning back towards me, she says, “I’m sorry for what Nash did. I hope you’ve been getting some help to deal with it.”
I nod, “I am.”
She leaves me alone with my thoughts. Could I be wrong about him looking at me the same? Could he bear to touch me sexually without seeing his son? I can’t imagine that he could, but his sister seems to think so. Fuck, I miss him. Seeing him today brought so many buried emotions to the surface. I sit at the table staring at my cup of coffee while lost in memories.
“Mercy.”
His voice snaps me from my reminiscing.
Glancing up, meeting his gaze, all the air escapes my lungs, I can’t move. I can’t speak. I just stare at him like an idiot.
He touches my hand, and I know I should take my hand away, but I can’t.
“Are you okay?” He asks.
I nod my head and he pulls Elle’s vacated chair closer to mine and sits down, watching me as if I’m an animal that’s going to flee.
“Fuck. I’m sorry,” he says as he pulls his hand away.
“For what?” I ask, but I know it’s for touching me, he doesn’t want to touch me anymore. My worst fears are confirmed.
“Touching you without consent. I know better, I’m sorry.”
I laugh lightly, “It’s fine.”
He puts his hands on his lap and looks at me with unshed tears.
“Mercy, I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry for what he…everything.”
I shake my head in disbelief. Does he think I blame him for what Nash did?
“None of it was your fault, Liam. You have nothing to apologize for.” We are quiet for the next several minutes before I say, “I’m sorry about your parents.”
He places his hands under his thighs, and I raise an eyebrow.
“Keeping my hands to myself,” he says.
I go back to staring at my coffee cup, “Liam, if you came here to make sure I’m okay, I am. I am not broken from what he did. Sad, because he was my best friend for so long. But I’m okay. I don’t have nightmares anymore. I promise, I’m okay.”
He sighs, “That makes one of us.”
I gasp, “You have nightmares about what happened?”
He shakes his head, “No. I have nightmares about you telling me to leave you alone.Liam, it’s over, plays on repeat in my brain.”
“I’m sorry, I never wanted to hurt you.”