They were simple statements, and nothing but truth. But there was also a lot that Zai didn’t say. He didn’t want to explain himself or make excuses.
He’d been the Queen’s Master Hunter. He’d done his duty. Then, he didn’t.
He never understood what had possessed him to do what he did that fateful day. But he knew that, if he had the choice to go back in time, he would only do it again.
Would he have become someone else if he also had the choice? Would he have ever become the Master Hunter if he could choose something different?
He didn’t know.
He felt that, as fucked up as it was, he wouldn’t have changed anything in his existence.
His rebellion decades ago was an anomaly. One that brought him face to face with Sin now. He didn’t know why, but he felt that it was the connection to Sin that triggered him back then.
He’d always abhorred the Blood Moon Queen and her gruesome tactics to keep control of the lands and the people in it. But those feelings had never been strong enough to make him act differently.
It was the Hunt on that particular day, the scene with that particular female, that sent him over the edge. As if he somehowknewwithout knowing what she meant tothisBeast.
And, inexplicably, it had mattered.
The liger was silent but for the sounds of his chewing and swallowing.
In time, he said through his mind,You killed the Hunter who was torturing Anya. I glimpsed it when I crashed into the scene.
I… remember.
Zai didn’t say anything, not even a shrug of his shoulders.
What did it matter that Sin suddenly recalled how the past unfolded?
It was past.
I attacked you because you were one of them. You were their leader. Your red insignia showed it.
Zai bit into his leg of deer and chewed methodically. He had nothing to add to the liger’s revelations.
Why did you do it?
That day, and now?
You whipped me, but you also weakened my chains with the lashes. I didn’t have enough strength to break free of them myself.
I know it now.
The more the Beast shared his thoughts, the more Zai realized that he was far more intelligent, logical and fair than Zai had ever given animal spirits credit for.
Rightly or wrongly, he used to believe that Beasts were only one step above true animals. He might have admired them for their primitive wildness and raw strength, but he used to look down on them just like the rest of the Dark Ones.
Now, knowingthisBeast, knowingSin, he was forced to confront his own prejudice and reexamine the verity of it. The more time he spent with the liger, the more he recognized how little he really knew.
As to the Beast’s question…
Zai didn’t answer because he didn’t know the answer. He just felt compelled to do it. It frustrated him to no end not to knowwhy.
So, he continued to eat in silence, not looking at the Beast.
I do not understand you, Dark One.
That made two of them.