I am ridiculously out of my depth.
And yet even thinking about that moment makes my heartbeat pick up, and travel south. I squeeze my knees together in my seat. When that provides minimal relief, I glance at my closed office door, let my hand travel down to trace myself through my pants. If I was wearing jeans, I might try to ride the stiff seam that can find my clit much better than any of my exes could.
The fever has been burning low and steady all day at work, nothing like when I was in the same room as Khent. To think it was just yesterday we were in here, his tongue dragging through my folds, giving me the most intense head I’ve ever had.
No, I’m not going to rub one out at work over that. I’m not going to get any more tangled up with this guy than I already have.
I send him a quick answer.‘We don’t have to talk about that.’
Then I make a point of not checking my email until the end of the day, just to avoid getting wrapped up in this whole mate-bonding business. I have other work to do, after all.
Still, when I do end up checking my inbox again, I insist to myself that I’m not mildly disappointed that he never replied after that.
-
DAY TWO OF WAITINGfor the bond to break, my concentration isn’t much better. The memory of that MR meeting hangs over my every thought.
“Take your time to research, and let me know if you have any further questions,” Gwen had leaned in and said just a little too quietly for my liking. It had made the thought of doing my own research feel illicit, instead of simply part of the process with MR. My cheeks grew hot and I had been all too well aware of Khent's presence in the conference room.
Presumably, Gwen had meant researching if there were any human sized dosages of the anti-aphrodisiacs, or the general effects of the Blood Fever. Mostly I wondered if it meant I could take extra sick days, since the whole Blood Fever incident had happened on the job. Maybe I could take a long weekend with worker's comp.
Still, none of that ended up being what I started typing into the search bar first thing when I got to my office the next day and firmly shut the door.
‘Blood Fever, humans’ yielded odd and mixed results, none too helpful. There didn't seem to be much record of humans mating with Orcs, accidentally or not.
‘Accidentally mate-bonded’ was not much better. Apparently there was a whole genre of Orc literature dedicated to this trope, and there were more articles on literary analysis than there were on the practicalities of the aftermath.
‘Blood fever effects’ ended up being where I stayed the longest, meandering down one article to the next.
DoctOrcs.com had a rundown of the most common symptoms, a bit of medical jargon on the systems that were affected by it, and a few at-home treatments for those who were struggling with annulments. The little warning at the bottom of the page to call medical professionals if there was blue or purplish swelling of the genital regions was a little alarming, and I hoped that would be one area where humans and Orc biology differed.
Regular masturbation seemed to be the number one suggestion for at home treatment. Then the usual methods, cold showers and exercise. Then the unusual– bloodletting was suggested more than once. I suppose there might be more than one reason the Orcs called it Blood Fever.
Some more dubious pages with less technical wording seemed to suggest there were certain essential oils that could cure Blood Fever, abscessed tusks, and cancer.
Of course, there’s only so much I can find about treating Blood Fever before I end up down a rabbit hole about mate bonds.
There’s a lot of densely worded articles on the subject, half of which are all blocked behind paywalls. I don’t know that I’m willing yet to subscribe to an academic journal to be able to read an article I have to look up every fourth word for. From what I get off Monstrouspedia, scientists believe there’s a handful of factors: from the ages of those involved, to if the fight or flight instinct is already engaged, to hormones. Some theories talk about how they believe it has to do with immune systems being compatible.
There are other less quantifiable explanations offered up as well. There’s a documentary of old, graying Orc couples talking about what they felt in that moment, how it happened to them. They caress the scars on each other’s faces or arms, the strike that started it all.
“I knew it before she even touched me,” one ancient Orc said of her wife, who nuzzled into her shoulder, before the documentary cuts to pictures of the two of them in their youth, “I could smell her sneaking up on me. I felt it was going to happen just a moment before it did.”
That one stays with me, snags on my heartstrings and the rest of the documentary rolls by without anything else really registering.
I lean back in my chair and cross my arms over my chest, chewing the inside of my cheek. It sounds beautiful in a way that makes me feel even more like I’ve accidentally trampled across something sacred, and kind of disappointed that I’ll never really understand what they’re talking about.
Which is useless because it’s not like I ever wanted to be bonded in the first place. None of this would even be on my radar if I hadn’t tried to open that damn cabinet.
I keep clicking through links absentmindedly, on some balancing act between insatiable curiosity and the knowledge that whatever I do find might just make me more sad about living alone, and feeling more and more lost on every new dating app I try.
Orc women must have it much easier, not swiping left until you’ve developed carpal tunnel in one thumb. I wish I had that capability, to be able to just look at someone and know they’re it.
At one point, I click on a video out of curiosity, thinking it would circle back to explaining what to expect when you’re bonded. In my defense, that’s what the title of the link, “When Blood Fever Hits”, led me to believe.
But when a video loaded, I’m embarrassed to admit it took me a few seconds longer than it should to realize what it was. To be fair to me, porn is usually a lot less green. At least the porn I’ve been searching on purpose up until this point.
The wet smacking sounds of one Orc pounding into the other’s cunt makes heat rise up in my skin from my face to my thighs. I’m caught like a deer in headlights, I’m too stunned at first to do anything but stare.