“If not for Dakota risking his life, Logan would be dead. Drop your attitude, bitch,” I snapped, and Phoe gasped softly next to me. “No, Phoe, I’m sick of her. Bitchily stomping around and blaming everyone except her fuckin’ precious son. Who should be locked up and charged with child endangerment and whatever else the cops can throw at him.” Phoe’s hand gripped my arm tightly.
“She’ll be dealt with. Trust me, Bunny. For now, focus on Pyro getting home and him being safe,” Phoe assured me. I glowered at the bitch, who was frowning straight at me. I couldn’t stand sitting around, so I rose to my feet and began pacing back and forth. Long minutes ticked past as I paced. Big Al moved to stop me, but Tati shook her head, and he let me continue walking.
Finally, Hellfire appeared, carrying a stretcher between them. My hands flew to my mouth because I knew it was Dakota, as Diesel was holding Logan. The boy looked shellshocked but healthy. Mrs Carter screamed, and for a moment, I had empathy with her as she rushed forward. Logan pulled away from her and clung to Diesel as medical people jogged up to them. Chance bellowed for everybody to back away and let them reach the parking lot, which they did. However, many reached out to touch Dakota’s arm or pat Diesel’s shoulder. The scene brought tears to my eyes as I felt relief sweep through everyone.
No one had genuinely believed that Dakota and Logan were safe until they’d seen it. Now, seeing it with our own eyes allowed the tension to fade, and we congratulated ourselves on Logan and Dakota being okay. I dashed over to the stretcher, and Dakota gazed at me out of a soot-covered face. The lines around Dakota’s eyes showed he’d been through something terrible.
“Where are you hurt?” I blathered in a state.
“Broken leg; think it snapped in two places,” Dakota grunted. Emergency personnel swarmed over Logan and Dakota, but Dakota refused to let them push me away. Dakota gripped my hand so tightly that I thought he might cut the blood supply off. I sat on the ground next to him as Dakota quietly let the EMTs do as they wished before they hefted him onto a gurney, and I followed.
“I’m going with him,” I stated, and my expression dared anyone to argue. None did, but Diesel climbed in beside me and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. Dakota smiled slightly and closed his eyes. He was worn out, and within minutes sleep crept upon him, and he faded away.
Dakota had broken his leg in two places, although I’d yet to find out how. The moment we hit the hospital, a doctor rushed him off for x-rays, and Hellfire arrived, still in their sooty, smoky gear. None of them moved until Dakota was given the all-clear from the medics, and then, one by one, they left to go wash up and sleep. To my surprise, Diesel returned a few hours later, red-eyed and drooping through lack of rest. When I asked why he was here, Diesel merely stated Dakota was his brother and needed him.
I bullied the nurses into putting up a cot bed in Dakota’s room and mercilessly shoved Diesel into it. Yeah, Diesel could stay if he wished, but Diesel would rest if I had anything to say about it. The moment Diesel’s head hit the pillow, he was snoring. So I guessed I’d done the right thing! Quietly, I sat there, watching both men, until I finally dozed off. I woke when someone gently pushed a pillow under my head and gazed into the green eyes of Chance. The clock on the wall showed I’d had three hours of sleep.
“Go back to sleep, Bunny. This is my watch now,” Chance muttered and tucked a blanket around me. Yawning, I burrowed down and yawned before closing my eyelids and dozed off. A murmur of soft voices woke me several hours later, and I listened as I heard Dakota’s voice.
“What’s to say, Chance? I saw the boy and called to Chatter, but he clearly didn’t hear me. I followed the kid and discovered him curled up and terrified at the bottom of a tree. The fire had cut off my escape route back to you guys, so I headed out and looked for barren ground. Once I found it, I deployed the shelter, and here we are,” Dakota replied, but I heard the fear behind his words.
“Not so simple, Pyro; you said two waves of fire hit you?” Chance pushed, and his voice was gentle.
“Yeah, but I survived,” Dakota responded.
“Dude, you ain’t pushing me away on this. That shit was terrifying, and I didn’t live it. The thought of two waves of flames hitting a shelter that’s only meant to handle one scares the crap out of me. You bury this Pyro, it will eat you up inside until it turns ugly, and we know what Hellfire ugly looks like. Just look at Chey and Celt,” Chance pushed. Dakota sighed, and I listened. Chance was right. Living through that was traumatic, and Dakota needed to talk.
“Yeah, Prez, I was fuckin’ terrified. As much for my life as Logans. I was burned as a kid, Chance, and I remember what that feels like. All I could think of was there’s this thin piece of material between the fire and me. If that shelter had failed, we would have died in agony, and that fear paralysed me. Kept my hands and feet where they needed to be.”
“Must have felt like you were suffocating?” Chance pried.
“Yeah. Had to force myself to not run. Panic running would have killed us both. Had to fight the memories of the last time I was in a fire, and my father tried to kill me. I couldn’t do that to Logan, leave him to burn while I saved myself. It’s a good job he’s only a tiny thing because that shelter ain’t made for two. I had my mask on, giving us oxygen. I couldn’t remember my training around it. Did I leave it on or not? Once the first wave passed, I almost got out, but my gut yelled for me to stay covered.”
“Never deny a gut feeling, Pyro; it’s possible your ears subconsciously picked up the roar of the second fire, and you didn’t realise it. That saved your life,” Chance agreed.
“Yeah, but the roar, Chance, was like a thunderstorm happening right in the shelter or a freight train crashing on the tracks. There’s no build-up of sound or fading. That shit hits and leaves. Logan made to run, and I stopped him. Knew we’d never outrun it. Logan trusted me, and I’m glad he came out alive. I couldn’t fail him.” Dakota paused, and I felt his eyes on me.
“Like you were failed,” Chance finished.
“But I wasn’t, was I?” Dakota bit out, and I sensed his emotional turmoil.
“Nah, you were. Pyro, you were neglected, brother, by the father who should have put you above his own needs. You were then failed by the courts and Beryl’s cancer diagnosis. Even though Tom Revers never stopped fighting for you, he still failed, and the man knew it. But it wasn’t a failure of Tom’s own creation, and that’s the difference Pyro. Tom and Beryl Revers were forced to fail you, but the court and your father chose to fail you, same as your mother.” I heard the sharp intake of breath and nearly opened my eyes.
“That’s the contrast, isn’t it?” Dakota said, with enlightenment in his voice. “Never realised that until now. I just thought they let me down.”
“There’s a huge fuckin’ difference, bro. Tom and Beryl Revers were forced to let you go. The Revers didn’t walk away, and Tom still fought for you even after Beryl died. That shows that Tom thought of you as his boy. Pyro, you were loved even if you didn’t know it.” Silence fell between them as Dakota considered Chance’s words.
“Prez, you know, they say your life flashes before your eyes when you’re dying. They lied. No flash of memories, no image of Janey in my mind. Just a shrill scream. That’s all I heard, and I knew it was me screaming deep inside. Even though I buried it years ago, that terror and desperation returned to me. Chance, I was a good kid, and I got a shit ride. But that screaming, I hated it, and I couldn’t stop it,” Dakota whispered, and my heart clenched.
“Want a secret, brother? I got that scream too, Pa’s passing, my uncle’s death, Drake’s battle, that howl is there, and I fight it daily. Clio and Louisa Mae help keep it at bay, and they’re my lifeline. They’re my heartbeat. Before that, I had Hellfire; you guys kept me going, walking forward when all I wished to do was look back. Mourn what we’d lost, and I grieved them, but I preferred to stay with the happy times. And then Phoe came along. And showed us the darkness doesn’t own us; we own it. Everything Phoe had been through, and instead of curling in a ball and dying slowly, Phoe fought.” Chance paused and thought about his next words.
“I wanted that, craved Phoe’s light for us, and we were fuckin’ lucky she gave it to us. Phoe taught us all how to live with the dark. And Ace and Artemis, two known killers, both with a monster and both living a happy, healthy life, and Phoe gave them that. Because Phoe brought Artemis back to Rage, and if Phoe hadn’t… there’d be two lonely monsters left to suffer in the darkness.
That scream has a beauty, Pyro; look for it, find it and hold it tightly. But never let it control you because you’ll wallow in fear and never move forward. Bunny sees a future; that girl couldn’t be easier to read than a book. She wants you, warts and all, brother. Don’t let the scream steal that. Acknowledge it, accept it, and then scare it the fuck into silence by using Bunny’s light.”
“Like you do with Clio?”
“Yeah, bro, just like that. And Bear keeps his scream about Ellie at bay with Thalia’s light. And Celt holds his locked up by revelling in the joy Chey brings him. We found our women, our reason for living, so grab hold tightly, Pyro, and don’t let her fuckin’ go. Bunny will give you everything you need if you allow her. And I bet Janey Revers has her own damn scream.”