Chapter Ten.
Aweek later, I sat upright in bed. My heart was pounding, and sweat was pouring down me. My arm came up to defend myself from a blow, and I caught my breast, forcing a cry of pain. Quickly, I tried smothering it, but I’d woken Bear, who sat up looking concerned. We were in the hotel room. Kelly had made rumblings about finding somewhere to live, but I deflected each time, and Kelly hadn’t pushed. Bear and Kelly had spent time together yesterday, and I’d not said anything. I was relieved they were bonding because Kelly held a lot of angst that Hellfire hadn’t listened to him.
The truth was, I couldn’t imagine Kelly not being in my life. Bear accepted that while trying to build my confidence and self-esteem back up and appreciated any help Kelly threw his way. So I happily let them disappear for a day, both of them returning with sneaky grins. My thoughts scattered as I saw a shadow move in the room, and I flinched back against Bear and crawled into his lap. Warm, muscular arms carefully wrapped around me, and I sank into Bear’s embrace.
“Baby?” Bear rumbled. Sobs shook my body, and I clung to him.
“Nightmare,” I gasped. Bear rubbed my back soothingly as I sobbed the fear out. Finally, I stopped and gazed into worried eyes.
“Nasty?” Bear asked.
“Those assholes were chasing me through the woods. The foliage was cutting my legs, and when I looked, it was knives slicing into me. They caught me and told me this time I wouldn’t escape. A knife came towards my face, and I woke up,” I said, shuddering.
“This is the fourth nightmare, Thal. Do you think you need to see a therapist? Yeah, you survived, but the ordeal would have left mental scars.”
“What are you saying?” I snapped.
“Maybe a therapist would help. Someone to talk to who can understand and help you find your way past this. Baby, I’m too close; although I’d love to help, I don’t have the skills necessary,” Bear admitted. I thought about his words. Did I honestly need therapy? Although therapy was accepted widely nowadays, I felt there was a stigma attached, as if I was weak.
“I’m not sure.”
“Ain’t weak to admit you need help, Thalia. It’s pretty fuckin’ strong to reach out a hand and say help. Especially when it’s someone as strong as you are,” Bear encouraged, and I sent Bear a sharp glance. I couldn’t tell if I was being manipulated.
“Can I think about it?” I asked. Bear nodded but looked unhappy.
“For now, you can, but much more of these nightmares, and I won’t leave you much of an option.” I bristled in Bear’s arms.
“Bear, I’m not a child,” I muttered, and he snorted.
“No, you’re not, but you’ve gone through a terrible ordeal, baby. Shit hit the fan, and I don’t think you’ve ever been hurt like this. That shit rocked your foundation and confidence. No shit, Thalia, what you experienced was a nightmare, a real-life fuckin’ nightmare,” Bear said, smoothing my hair.
“Did you make those assholes suffer?” I asked, and Bear froze.
“What?” Bear asked finally.
“Did Hellfire make them suffer like I did?” Desperately, I needed the answer.
“Yeah, they bled, baby, like you did. Died screaming,” Bear promised, and I relaxed. It was terrible knowing that I could only relax because of the suffering of my kidnappers, but I honestly experienced relief. Robespierre had hurt me so severely physically and mentally, I wondered I was coherent.
“That makes me feel better,” I whispered.
“That was the point of making them suffer,” Bear whispered back.
“Will the police be able to trace their bodies back to Hellfire?”
“Police may have suspicions but will never prove it,” Bear muttered.
“Did it bring back memories of Ellie?” Bear stiffened, and his arms clenched involuntarily around me.
“Somewhat. Your injuries brought a lot of crap up, so I’ve been talking shit through with Big Al. And taking vengeance on your behalf cleansed some of that shit I was feeling,” Bear admitted.
“My injuries were like Ellie’s?” I gasped. Bear gave a sharp nod, and I began crying again. This man had relieved his little sister’s nightmare because of me. Because I didn’t think and just acted. I’d been trying to prove something, and I’d suffered, but so had other people. Kelly watched me like a hawk. Grandmother point blank refused to go home, and Bear had relived a nightmare he wanted to forget.
“Bear, I’m so sorry,” I cried as Bear soothed me again. This man deserved better than me. My emotions had been erratic for a week, and tonight I was even worse. Bear’s point about seeing a therapist came back to me.
“Okay to the therapist,” I agreed, and Bear nodded against my head. Slowly, Bear rocked me back to sleep.
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