I stared in stunned disbelief at the door as Kelly walked across. Kelly took one look at my face and wrapped me in his arms. Silently, Kelly led me to a sofa as tears began streaming down my face. I sobbed into Kelly’s arms, unable to understand what had happened. Kelly held me tightly as I wound down and wiped the tears from my face.
“What the hell happened, Thal?” Kelly asked.
“Bear thinks I’m ashamed of being seen with him. And I’m not! He called me a cunt,” I said faintly.
“Thal I heard the entire fight, starting from the moment you yelled, oh my God. It sounded like that,” Kelly said gently, and I sniffed.
“But that wasn’t what I was trying to explain to Bear. Kelly, I couldn’t get the words out; I was trying to tell Bear I didn’t want people labelling me a slut. And Bear staying the night meant something,” I whispered, and Kelly shook his head.
“Didn’t come out like that. That sounded like you were ashamed to be fucking a biker,” Kelly said bluntly.
“Well, I’m not, but this started as casual sex. And I didn’t want my sisters thinking I’m a slut because I was having casual sex with Bear. But Bear stayed last night, and I’m so confused. We were having fun even if we don’t like each other,” I retorted. Kelly sighed and shook his head.
“Baby, no idea what you were attempting to tell Bear. But Bear and I both heard were that you were ashamed to be seen fucking him. You may have meant well, and let’s face it, you overreact and can’t get your words out when faced with situations like this. But whatever you meant came out completely wrong. That man left here thinking he’s good enough to fuck you, but not good enough to be seen in public with you,” Kelly said, and I gazed in horror.
“No! That wasn’t what I was trying to say!”
“That’s what came out,” Kelly insisted, and I reddened.
“Kelly, I thought Bear wanted a fuck buddy and was happy about that. He’s amazing in bed. But I’ve always been discreet with fuck buddies,” I said, and Kelly roared with laughter.
“Thal, you’re making yourself sound like a tart. You’ve had two men as fuck buddies the entire time I’ve known you. And one relationship which was shitty. You’ve no experience with men. Wait a moment… slut, you keep saying slut. Oh Thalia, not Damon raising his ugly head?
Damon screwed you over and hurt you badly. What he did was despicable. Surely Damon didn’t get into your head this morning with Bear? Bear’s not Damon; he won’t turn on you like Damon did. Thalia, I thought you were over that situation. But then again, you turned against relationships and used Eric and Kyle as fuck buddies. Both wanted more and hoped playing your game would get it. Shit Thalia, are you saying Damon still haunts you? Honey, Damon was a piece of shit, not worth you or this pain,” Kelly chided, and I pouted.
I’d met Damon seven years ago when I was eighteen at college. We’d been together for a year until I visited a friend for a surprise lunch and got a nasty surprise of my own. Damon was happily servicing her as I stared dumbstruck. I’d fled the scene and dumped Damon that night after he arrived at my home with flowers and chocolates and clearly ready to fuck me. The insult was a massive smack in the face, especially when I confronted Damon, and he’d not known I’d caught him red-handed. Kelly tossed the asshole out, and I’d been wary of men ever since.
During that argument, Damon had said several cutting things that had sank deep into my bones. He’d undermined my sense of self-worth, and I’d not really trusted a man since then. Damon had called me a slut and many other names, ridiculing my emotions and feelings for him. Kelly had a serious battle on his hands putting me back together after Damon had finished. My first foray into love had been an unmitigated disaster.
“That’s not the point. The point is, I didn’t believe Bear desired more than a quick fuck. I wanted nothing more from Bear either,” I said, refusing to discuss Damon.
“Then why are you so torn up over Bear’s reaction? Thal, you looked devastated when Bear stormed out,” Kelly pointed out reasonably.
“Because…” I said and fell silent. That was a good question. Why was I so upset about Bear’s reaction?
“Dig deep, Thal, don’t suppress your emotions,” Kelly urged. I struggled mentally to understand what I was feeling and when I recognised the emotion, I was stunned.
“Damn, I care about Bear.” Somehow I’d fallen for Bear and hoped for more; the fact Bear hadn’t shown he wanted more, had allowed me to shove hope aside.
“That’s obvious. The sparks flying around you two could start a bush fire. Bear’s been up in your business ever since Clio forced Bear on you. Bear didn’t have to help hunt Polly and Callie; he did, so you’d have someone there to take your back. Apparently, I wasn’t good enough.” Kelly chuckled, but there wasn’t any rancour.
“I didn’t understand.”
“Nope, because of Damon, you can’t tell when a man genuinely wants to be around you,” Kelly said.
“Kelly, I need to shower and explain this!”.
“Go on,” Kelly urged happily as I flew towards the shower. “Start your explanation with Damon Thalia; Bear will understand.”
I was blow-drying my hair when there was a knock on the door an hour later. Distracted, I turned my head as Kelly opened it, and Clio stormed in. I took one glance at Clio’s face and guessed why she was here.
“Don’t start. I’m aware what I said this morning came out wrong. I’m going to find Bear and explain,” I said, holding up a hand to forestall any argument. If I thought that would pacify Clio, I was wrong.
“No, you’re not. Bear doesn’t want to see you, and I don’t blame him. How dare you say you’re ashamed to be seen with him? But Bear’s good enough to fuck,” Clio sneered.
“That isn’t what I meant, and I’m going to explain it. When I get emotional, words come out wrong. Kelly made me understand how they could be misconstrued.”
“Don’t believe you. You’ve badly hurt Bear. You’re the first woman Bear embraced and had fun with, Thalia! Bear fucks but doesn’t go back for seconds. From what I’ve heard, Bear’s had a ten-course meal with you! Bear put you on the back of his bike!” Clio seethed. I didn’t understand that, and Clio must have recognised the confusion on my face. “No brother puts a woman on his bike unless she’s his old lady. By having you ride behind him, Bear was making a statement, one you threw in Bear’s face this morning.”