All. Fucking. Day.
When my shirt is finally gaping open, I let it slide from my shoulders, and Luke leans up on his elbows to get a better view.
“Pants,” he grunts, and I tilt my head.
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
“Hell yeah. Come on. You’ve seen all of me. I want to see all of you.”
I unbuckle my belt and pull it slowly through the hoops, the leather whispering through the fabric. And the entire time, I’m warring with myself. I’m not sure I should bare myself like this to him. The vulnerability makes my stomach clench.
I already feel so out of control with him, I’m not sure I can take any more.
“No. Not tonight. On your hands and knees.”
Disappointment falls over his face.
“Serious?”
“Now, Luke.”
He reaches his hand out toward me and I take a step back. He eyes me for a moment and huffs but then complies and turns over on the bed. A small part of me, for just a moment, wonders if I’ve made a mistake. But then the larger, more logical part of me overrides it. I barely know this man. I’m confident in who I am, but knowing yourself and opening yourself up to others are two very different things. I can’t deny the small, hidden part of me that worries if Luke will turn out like Andrew. I’m not ready for that soul-crushing disappointment.
This is me protecting myself. I don’t owe Luke anything.
“I’ll like whatever I see, Eli,” he says, as if reading my mind. His head is turned toward me, resting on his folded arms.
“That’s not the issue, Luke.”
“Then what is it?”
I pause, wondering if I should lie, and then decide against it. “This has nothing to do with my body, not really. It’s the emotions that come along with it. There’s an intimacy in baring myself fully to someone…and I’m not sure I’m ready.”
Luke wets his lips and meets my gaze. “I’d never hurt you.”
I swallow and tear my gaze away from his, and eye his tight, round ass raised in the air. “I know.”
I grab onto my kit and roll it out in front of him, hoping to distract him from this conversation. It seems to work because his cheeks redden as he eyes the toys in front of him.
“What are you gonna use this time?”
“My strap on,” I say and pull it out. “Think you can take it?”
Luke presses his cheek to the mattress, his pupils dilating as he eyes the pink flesh-colored dildo in my hand.
“Hell yeah. My ass was made for you.”
A smile pulls my lips up, and I reach out and stroke a lock of hair from his face.
“Good boy.”
He flushes crimson and I slide my thumb across his lips.
“Stay,” I add and then move into the bathroom.
I tug on my boxer harness, pulling the shaft through the opening at the front, and place the bullet vibrator in the small pocket below it, against my dick. I glance down at myself and wonder what Luke will think when he sees this.
Will he like it?