“You kind of meant it. Admit it. Guys like you don’t usually go for guys like me.”
Whit admits nothing, just continues to run those long fingers of his across my naked skin.
When he says nothing else, I ask, “So where will you go to law school?”
Whit’s hands pause and says, “Harvard, most likely.”
I lean up on my elbows and stare down at him. “Shit, that’s across the country, Whit.”
He swallows loudly. “Yeah.”
“Have you been accepted yet?”
“No, I need to take the LSAT and then go from there, but that’s the school of choice. My parents have insisted on it.”
“What if you wanted to stay here? There’ve got to be some good schools nearby?”
“There are but…I just don’t know if it’s possible.”
“What if there’s an incentive to stay?”
I move my fingers up his neck and cup the side of his face. He leans into it, and I kiss him softly.
“We barely know each other, Caleb.”
“I know,” I reply, kissing him again and then sucking on his tongue until he moans against me.
When I pull away, I press my forehead against his. “But I feel like I’ve known you forever. It just works with us. So…if you insist on Harvard, I’m sure I could find work out there.”
Whit tenses beneath me, and I meet his dark stare. My heart stutters in my chest, and my stomach clenches a little at what his silence means.
He doesn’t want me out there.This is casual. He told me what to expect when this started. It has an end date. I was stupid to assume. So damn stupid.
Can’t forget this. Can’t make this out to be something it’s not.
I try and lighten the mood despite the painful tear in my heart. “Of course, that’s only if you want me out there with you. I’d be crazy to follow you around. I’m not Sem.”
He relaxes slightly at my words, and my heart fractures a bit more. “Can we table this conversation for another time, Caleb? I’d…I’d like to just have this evening with you without the future looming over us.”
I nod and then press my head to his chest again. My eyes sting, and I blink away the sensation. Must be allergies.
Whit tries to start a different conversation, but I’m having a hard time following it because I’m just thinking that whatever I’m feeling, he’s not. And with that comes shame. Of being so vulnerable, of not knowing how to stop wanting him.
I’m in over my head.
“I’ve ruined it, didn’t I?” Whit finally says softly.
“Nah,” I mutter and sink my face into his neck and breathe him in.
Who knows when this will be over? Gotta get my fill.
“You’re acting…sad.”
“I’m not sad, just coming to terms with some things.”
“I’m so sorry, Caleb,” he whispers, and my heart beats irregularly in my chest.
“Don’t be. You were never anything but honest with me.”