My heart stutters in my chest, and I rub at it, wanting to reach out for him but giving him his space.
“I don’t know what I’m doing, Caleb. I don’t know what we’re doing. I don’t know how to be your person. I’ve never been anyone’s person.”
“Whit…” I say, but he shakes his head.
“I didn’t want this to get too dark too soon because I know this isn’t serious for you, and this is only the beginning of…whatever this is, but you should know what you’re getting into with me. I’m…hard to get along with, not easy to be around. I know this. I fail to communicate, keep things in too long and rarely open up. I’m a mess. I look like I have it all together, but inside it’s…chaos.”
“Whit…” I say again, and I reach out this time, tugging him closer. His knees hit the edge of the couch, and my hands link with his. He stares at them intently.
“I’m willing to give it a go. I already handed in my straight card for you. What’s a little chaos? I happen to like it. Have you met my family?”
Whit’s eyes flash up and meet mine.
“I want you to open up to me, though. Try to at least,” I say and then tug him closer, so he’s straddling me.
“How am I supposed to do that?” he whispers as I bring his hand to my mouth and kiss it.
“How about once a day, you tell me something? Something you’re thinking or something you want me to know about you?”
Whit contemplates that for a moment and then nods. “We can try that.”
“Good.”
And then I lean my forehead against his and run my hand through his hair.
“Thank you for telling me that.”
He nods, looking uneasy. “I’ve never done that before.”
“That so? Must make me pretty special,” I tease, and he shuts me up by kissing me deeply.
We lose ourselves in it, our tongues tangling as hands begin to explore. Because duh, how could I not when he’sright here.He tugs my shirt over my head and then runs his hands down my chest and, with a trembling voice, says, “I saw you, for the first time, with no shirt and jacked off in the bathroom immediately after.”
“Whit,” half groan, half smile.
“I’ve never seen anyone like you. You’re so…big. I’ve never been with anyone so big.”
I flex my abs slightly, and they become more defined. Whit’s fingers bump along them, and his eyes follow their path.
“God, you’re sexy,” he mutters, his eyes glazed, his lips swollen.
I reach over and tug his hips into mine, grinding up against him.
“Tell me more,” I breathe.
He kisses me again, and when we come up for breath again, he adds, “Jacking you off is….”
“Tell me,” I plead as he tugs the waist of my jeans down, freeing my erection.
“It’s heaven, Caleb. Watching you…” he exhales shakily. “The things you do to me.”
He runs a hand down my length, and I groan loudly.
“I dream of fucking you,” he whispers, and my entire body trembles at that admission. “I’d make it so good for you.”
His fist moves slowly over me, and I reach for the waist of his jeans.
“Please,” I say, unbuttoning them and then dragging the zipper down. “I want to….”